I Heard it on the Grapevine

I’ve heard on the grapevine that some people who’ve pre-ordered my book from Amazon.co.uk have received an email informing them that delivery has been delayed. My publisher assures me that there’s no problem at the printing end of the process. Demand is such that Amazon are temporarily out of stock. Who’d have thought?

The book

A Post-coital Embrace that Lingers ’til Dawn

I received Roving Jay’s review of Perking the Pansies this morning. I needed a stiff drink to calm me down (I made do with strong coffee – even I don’t sup for breakfast). Jay has a written a magical and delicious review. I’m truly flattered and rather humbled. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

For those of you who follow my Bodrum Travel Blog, you know I have a penchant for Top 5 lists, so in honour of the launch of Jack’s first book, I’ve put together a Top 5 list of metaphors to describe my comparison of “Perking the Pansies” the Blog and “Perking the Pansies” the Book:

  • Whereas Jack’s blog is tipsy small-talk, over cheap warm plonk and soggy canapés; Jack’s book is a candle-light dinner, and a heart-to-heart with a trusted confidante.
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an endless bucket of salty popcorn you absent-mindedly snack on between meals; Jack’s book is a dark chocolate truffle you roll your tongue, to prolong the experience
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is face-puckering tequila, a suck on a lemon and lick of salt; Jack’s book is a full-bodied Bordeaux, maturing and breathing in a crystal cut goblet
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is a frantic knee-trembler with Tabitha the Tart, Jack’s book is a post-coital embrace that lingers ’til dawn
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an erratic spin on a dodgem carousel, Jack’s book is a memorable limo ride with leather-clad seats

Big thanks Jack for my chauffeured journey through his Pansy field.

Climb aboard, your own journey awaits…

Thank you, Jay.

You can read the full review here.

Check out the book

Midsomer Murder

I’ve been asked what the book is actually about. You’ll have to read it to find out, but suffice it to say, I learned some valuable lessons from David Steddall, the English Literature teacher at my South London grammar school. “A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end,” he would say. We’ve all heard the mantra. He seemed to like my essays, even if they were sometimes a little risqué in a post-pubescent, hormone-raging sort of way. His encouragement gave me confidence. He would often give me top marks and have me recite my work in class. Tragically, I failed* my Lit O Level. I just didn’t get the poetry and I was a lazy little student. Still, I’ve stayed faithful to Dave’s cause ever since and my book has a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s not a random series of observations like the blog. It’s the full story of our time in Turkey, warts and all. It’s not all light and frothy either. We’ve experienced some dark moments here:

Liam left exactly two months after we moved into the house in Bodrum. He dashed home on a mercy mission and I had no idea when he would be coming back. Üzgün’s death had thrown him off kilter and now he was needed in London.

The night before, we had dined al fresco to take advantage of yet another blessed, balmy evening. Liam’s gastronomic ambitions had reached such a pinnacle that we had less and less reason to eat out. The courtyard was a perfect setting. We reminisced about the days when, at the slightest hint of fine weather, we would rush home from work and grab the opportunity to eat in the garden.

We chinked glasses. “To the good life, Liam.”

It was a hollow toast. Üzgün’s murder had changed everything. He had been raped, robbed and murdered by three teenagers in a back street of Yalıkavak. His body was found in a dry river bed, naked, beaten and barely recognisable.

Liam got the call he had been dreading. He packed a suitcase and taxied to the airport to pick up the next available flight. I stayed awake for most of the night, texting Liam and trying to make sense of the mess around us. I camped on the balcony for hours, questioning my flawed understanding of Turkish society, balancing the highs with the lows and wondering if, ultimately, we had made one huge mistake. My head was a mass of interconnected thoughts and contradictions, each leading to a different conclusion and each stirring up an emotion that took me right back to where I started. I set myself a challenge. I would stay awake until the morning; by then I would know what to do.

The lights went out in Türkkuyusu just as they had done many times before. How could Turkey ever hope to become an industrial powerhouse if they couldn’t keep the bloody lights on? I stared into the darkened streets, lit only by the headlights of passing traffic. I wanted to speak to Liam but he was in the skies somewhere over Europe. I wanted to ask him why we didn’t go to Spain or why we left London in the first place. I knew he would answer, “because we’re different and different is good. Remember the pioneers. ‘Good As You’, they said.”

*I passed English Language with flying colours (along with history). Liam is trying to convert me to the joys of poetry. I fear it’s a lost cause.

Check out my book.

Prowler Stocks Perking the Pansies

Prowler WindowOn the day Perking the Pansies, hit the presses, I found out that Joe Storey-Scott, the Book & Film Buyer for Millivres Prowler Group, contacted my publisher, Jo Parfitt. Prowler is Blighty’s premiere gay lifestyle chain with outlets in Brighton and on London’s Brewer Street, Soho. Joe has agreed to stock the book. Wow. Thank you, Joe.

Check out the book

Beautiful People

Laugh Out Loud Stuff

I took a much-needed break from promoting Perking the Pansies. I switched on the TV, put my feet up and settled down to  watch Beautiful People on BBC Entertainment. The series is from the magical pen of Jonathan Harvey, the creative comic genius behind Beautiful Thing (one of my favourite films) and Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, the deliciously wicked, surreal TV comedy starring James Dreyfus and the inimitable Kathy Burke. There’s a reason I’m wittering on about this: something interesting cropped up in one of the episodes, How I Got My Water Feature, inspired by the British national obsession in the late Nineties with Ground Force (a gardening makeover programme featuring the bouncing, bra-less breasts of Charlie Dimmock). One of the characters came out with the immortal line ‘We’re just planting perky pansies.’ I recoiled in horror. I’d never seen this episode before I started the blog. Honest, Your Honour. Will Jonathan sue me for breach of copyright? I hope not. Maybe a case of great minds think alike? Even if Mr Harvey’s mind is a significantly greater than mine.

You might also like:

Ground Hog Day

Auntie’s Bloomers

Perking the Pansies, Unwrapped

Perking the Pansies, Unwrapped
What’s Santa bringing you this year?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the cover for Perking the Pansies. As threatened, it’s colourful with a lot of pansies and a delicious hint of Turkey. I think it’ll catch the eye on the book shelf. Let’s face it, it’ll probably glow in the dark. A huge thank you to award-winning author, Paul Burston, who has given such a radiant review. Paul wrote:

An entertaining story, told with wit and insight.” Paul Burston, author, The Gay Divorcee

I’m really looking forward to presenting the book at the Polari Literary Salon in London early next year. Thank you also to the other reviewers who have given the book the thumbs up. I’m thrilled. You can read what they had to say here.

Perking the Pansies available now to pre-order on Amazon.co.uk. Order today and the book will be delivered to you soon after it’s published on 15th December 2011. It’ll be available on to order on Amazon.com very soon.

Thank you to all those who voted and commented (good and critical) on my post, What’s in a Name? After much straw-polling, soul searching and deliberation, my publisher, Jo Parfitt, had an overnight epiphany. The next day, she emailed me with unconcealed excitement.

“Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey”

Just like that, a book title was born. Inspired.

You might also like:

Cover Story

Polari Literary Salon

What’s in a Name?

The select group of people who’ve had a chance to read the Perking the Pansies manuscript have commented how different the book is from the blog. Sure, it covers some of the same terrain but, they say it’s much more than just the random comic utterings of a myopic ex-pretty boy from the Smoke. They say it’s a proper book with a plot that has revelation, depth, pathos and pace. Laugh and cry has been mentioned in dispatches. I’m relieved that the initial reaction has been so positive.

There’s just one thing, though. We’re having a heated debate about the subtitle for the book. A subtitle is important because it conveys the subject of the book and should include keywords to help with internet searching and book classification. Perking the Pansies alone might give people the impression that the book is about horticulture!

Obvious keywords for the book include:

Gay – Gay Couple – Expats – Turkey – Surviving

So I thought, why not ask my loyal pansyfans? I know people haven’t read the book yet but if you fancy it, why not vote for your favourite.

Alternatively, if you have a different suggestion, please leave a comment.

You might also like:

Perking the Pansies, the Book

I’m Coming Out

Cover Story

First impressions are all important. When flirty eyes meet across a crowded bar, loins can start to stir (well, mine do anyway). Likewise, food with a flourish can whet the appetite for even the most average of meals. Visual gratification works for books too. Most expat books I’ve read are either dressed to impress with a stunning snap of shrub against a verdant landscape or attract the eye with a colourful comical cartoon. For Perking the Pansies, I’m fishing for something delicious to stand out from the noble crowd. The artistic people at Creationbooth are working up a design to make my mouth water. The Chief Buyer at Fenwick’s of Bond Street is an old friend of mine. She tells me that orange is very on trend this year. Who am I to argue? Expect something vibrant.

You might also like:

Bound and Ungagged

Perking the Pansies, the Book

Two Nations Divided by a Common Language

Photo: Carryn M. Golden

I recently received the first edits back for the book. I downloaded the file with nervous anticipation, expecting it to be mauled with angry red lines and a must do better report at the end. I was pleasantly surprised to find the text relatively intact. My editor is a talented young man from across the pond called Kilian Kröll. Kilian’s day job is treading the boards as an eminent life coach. He’s also a superb writer and is moonlighting as editor at the request of my publisher, Jo Parfitt. Jo gave him the specific remit to check the text for British idioms and cultural references that might fly over the heads of our Yankee cousins. Kilian is well-qualified for the job and is doing sterling work – meticulous and professional. His interventions have been smart, literate and illuminating. Striking the right balance between keeping the essentially British feel of Perking the Pansies and appealing to the greatest possible audience is going to be tough. Cor blimey, mate.

You might also like:

Perking the Pansies

Jack Scott

Polari Literary Salon

I’m really excited to announce that Paul Burston, award winning author, LGBT Editor of Time Out London and one of Blighty’s leading commentators on LGBT life, has invited me to speak at the Polari Literary Salon in February. Paul created Polari to showcase new gay and lesbian writers. Since its launch in 2007, Polari has established an enviable reputation as a centre of excellence for promoting new talent. I’ll be reading passages from the book and taking questions. I’m completely terrified. Paul assures me it’s a warm and easy crowd. I will have to dig deep into my past to resurrect the orator in me. I’ll be trolling down to Soho to ask the literati omis, palones and palone-omis to vada my bona book*. I hope this pansy will still be perking by the end of it. What shall I wear?

*For a quick lesson in Polari slang check out Trolling on the Net.

You might also like:

Publish and Be Damned

The Dorothy Dollar and Pink Pound