Dedicated Pansyfan, Alan, decided to take Perking the Pansies on a grand book tour of Charlemagne’s old domain. He flashed my inane witterings at the fragrant French, waffling Belgians and orderly Germans. Have I seen sales soar among our continental cousins as they rush to empty the virtual shelves of the best expat book to come out of Turkey since the Fall of Constantinople? Who knows? Not me. I won’t get the sales figures for six months. In the meantime, our local Waterstone’s here in old Norwich is stocking the book. I’ll drink to that.
It’s done and dusted. My World Book Tour across four continents has finally come to an end. The stage lights have dimmed and the sequins have been packed away for another day. I’m knackered even though I’ve not shifted from the sofa. Was it a sell out? No idea. Have I sold copies of the book? Certainly. To celebrate the end of the tour, I’m releasing my very first book trailer. BAFTAs here we come. Grab yourself some popcorn and a fizzy drink, sit back and watch:
Now to my acceptance speech…
Please extend a massive hand to the talented and generous supporting cast, stars in their own right, who took a back seat and let me take centre stage to strut my stuff.
Fittingly, the tour kicked off in my foster land with Soldier, Solder at a place in the country with rustic old sapper Archers of Okçular.
Next stop was a flying visit to the motherland for our London gig at cosmopolitan Aussie Gidday from the UK with Gidday from Turkay.
The third show, AussieBum was presented Down Under at A Life Less Ordinary with the far from ordinary Russell.
A long virtual night flight took me across the Pacific to the Eureka State – California – for Perking Across the Pond on Lick the Fridge courtesy of gifted wordsmith and family man, Jared.
My second Californian date was a camp inquisition on the pink sofa with the absolutely fabulous Impossibly Glamorous.
No time to dawdle. It was back on the virtual trail to Old Constantinople for a gig on the sharp and witty Istanbul Stranger telling my Yankee Tales, continuing the American theme.
I flew the virtual transatlantic red eye for the Continental European leg of my tour. First stop, a chat of the This Morning sofa with my inspirational publisher, Jo Parfitt in the Low Countries.
Next up a trek across the Pyrenees to a campsite somewhere in southern Spain for my Trailer Trash show with the impossibly healthy Helen from Helen’s European Journey.
This was followed by another Dutch gig at Adventures in Expatland with the blogger with the big heart. She entertained us with Pansies Oh So Successfully Perked.
Safe on home soil saw me facing the questions again from the lovely Natalie at the top notch Turkish Travel Blog.
Last and certainly not least, my final interrogation was by Roving Jay on the Bodrum Peninsula Travel Guide. Jay pins me down with questions about Bodrum.
Thank you to one and all, for letting me loose on your blogs, for the Facebook posts and likes, stumbles, tweets, retweets and mentions. Your support is heart-warming. Thank you also to those who followed me around my virtual world. Now the fun really starts…
The whirlwind virtual world book tour has reached its final destination back in old Bodrum Town. The imaginary train has pulled into the non-existent station. I’m knackered. My final gig is at Roving Jay’s Bodrum Peninsula Travel Guide.
Regular viewers will remember that Jay was an early reviewer of my book and called it:
Jay pumped me on the Roving Sofa with a quick fire round about Bodrum.
“My vision of hell is being squeezed onto a commercial party boat like the Victoria Line during the rush hour with a bunch of orange-faced holidaying strangers and brats in baseball caps. We select our boat trips carefully – usually with a handful of hand-picked gals and pals. My advice is get your own group together, find a smaller craft and talk to the captain about what floats your boat. Most owners are amenable to any reasonable request and open to negotiation on the price. We’ve cruised from Yalikavak, Bitez and Bodrum; another great way to get away from the madding crowd.” More…
I’ve been a big fan of the Turkish Travel Blog for quite a while. Natalie works bloody hard to bring her readers the best that the Aegean and Mediterranean coasts of Turkey have to offer. Natalie travels extensively to give a personal touch to her posts. Believe me, this isn’t true of some travel sites which can be based on (sometimes inaccurate) second and third hand experiences. Been there, done that? Natalie has. She bought the T-shirt.
Natalie interviewed me as part of the book tour. It’s my fourth interview and makes me feel like a renascent Hollywood star of yesteryear doing the studio rounds to promote my latest must-see comeback flick. I’m ready for my close up, Mr DeMille (the oft misquoted line from Sunset Boulevard).
Ex-spook, Linda (she denies it, but I know she was), gave up her 007 career at the Pentagon and settled in the Low Countries to write about life and fret about global warming. If my house was fifty feet below sea level, I’d fret too. Linda is a prolific blogger, accomplished writer and published author. She’s also an all-round good liberal egg with the all the right values and a huge heart. Linda has been a great supporter of my blog virtually from the outset. She wrote an incredible review of my book and, best of all, I didn’t have to bribe her. This just goes to prove you can’t wet the beak of the honourable. In addition to the review, she’s written a post Pansies, Oh So Successfully Perked on Adventures in Expatland. Read it here.
When I planned my virtual tour, I knew the book would have to take centre stage. There would be little point if it didn’t. But I didn’t want to just bang on about it and do the hard sell. People would get bored and simply switch channels. I know I would. I had to find a theme, something to maintain interest. I also wanted to say something related to the people that have kindly let me loose on their blogs. A theme gradually emerged: me. My favourite subject.
Today’s post is on Helen’s European Journey. Elegant Helen is wander-lusting gypsy-like across Europe (well, so far across Iberia – give ‘em time) in a travelling caravan with hunky husband and two pretty pussies in tow. So, folks, I give you… me and caravans. Not the dusty camel trains of antiquity hauling exotic goods along the ancient Silk Road from China to Anatolia, but the common or garden static metal type of my childhood. It’s a tenuous link, but stay with me.
My publisher, Jo Parfitt, recently interviewed on her Writer’s Abroad Radio Show. Blimey, I felt like a studio starlet – though more minor Rank than major MGM. Jo just chucked me in at the deep end to sink or swim – no rehearsals, no re-takes. I was nervous – lots of ums and arrs. Despite the spluttering I didn’t drown – not too distasteful or disgraceful. Jo also interrogated me for her website. I got these questions in advance so my answers were a tad more considered.
Check out my radio gaga here and my more thoughtful dispatch from the front line here.
Next whistle stop on my virtual book tour (are you still on the train?) is Liz Cameron’s blog, Slowly-by-Slowly. Liz writes with depth and poetry about her cross-cultural life as an American married to a Turk through the eyes of a troupe of Ottoman era Karagöz shadow puppets. She’s not insane. It’s a metaphor, silly. Of greatest interest to me, though, is that Liz lives in Provincetown, a pretty little New England seaside resort which is a summer mecca for gay visitors – a kind of American Brighton. Yes, I am that shallow. My invite to ogle the shocking males must be lost in the post. The shocking mail in Turkey is to blame, no doubt.
Hop over to Slowly-by-Slowly to catch the book review and to hang out with M’Lady and the crazy marionettes.
I was really pleased when Istanbul Stranger asked me to guest on her blog as part of my virtual book tour. She’s deliciously witty, calls a spade a spade and her sharp observations about her life in Old Constantinople are a joy to read. She’s American but I think her writing style has a distinctive ironic British twist. Maybe she was a Brit in a former life. I’m there to plug my book but, as this isn’t Oprah’s Book Club, I thought I’d regale you with tales of my first visit to the good old US of A.
I’d like to introduce American Expat returnee, Charles Ayres. Charles is funny and talented, and quite famous in his own lunchtime. He’s written for Harper’s Bazaar and Metropolis, handled the international PR for Tokyo FM’s annual Earth Day concert and popped up the big and small screen, most notably on the Japanese TV show “It’s OK to Laugh” (Waratte ii Tomo) and film “The Billion Yen Jackpot!” (Juoku-en Kasegu!)
Charles lived in the Land of the Rising Sun for 12 years and left after the 2011 earthquake. After experiencing the Big One, he moved to San Francisco to wait for the next Big One. He’s released his autobiography, Impossibly Glamorous, “The rudest book you’ll ever love,” detailing his life growing up as a raver in the American Midwest and taking over New York and Japan.
Charles has been a great supporter of Perking the Pansies, virtually from the beginning, and jumped in to help with promoting the book. He was one of the first to review Perking the Pansies
Perking the Pansies 