Marriage Equality in Argentina

Argentina, the land of silver and the smouldering tango, has come a long way since the dark days of deified bottle-blonds, military juntas and bankruptcy (wasn’t Madonna shocking in Evita?). The country is a rising star, economically and socially. Progressive liberalism has taken root and social attitudes are being transformed. Argentina was the first country in South America to adopt full marriage equality for lesbian and gay people.

The equalities campaign was boosted by a clever and slick video campaign with a simple message of fairness. A sterling effort all round. Maybe Buenos Aries should be the next stop on our pansy trail? A breath of fresh air.

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Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

I Heard it on the Grapevine

I’ve heard on the grapevine that some people who’ve pre-ordered my book from Amazon.co.uk have received an email informing them that delivery has been delayed. My publisher assures me that there’s no problem at the printing end of the process. Demand is such that Amazon are temporarily out of stock. Who’d have thought?

The book

A Post-coital Embrace that Lingers ’til Dawn

I received Roving Jay’s review of Perking the Pansies this morning. I needed a stiff drink to calm me down (I made do with strong coffee – even I don’t sup for breakfast). Jay has a written a magical and delicious review. I’m truly flattered and rather humbled. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

For those of you who follow my Bodrum Travel Blog, you know I have a penchant for Top 5 lists, so in honour of the launch of Jack’s first book, I’ve put together a Top 5 list of metaphors to describe my comparison of “Perking the Pansies” the Blog and “Perking the Pansies” the Book:

  • Whereas Jack’s blog is tipsy small-talk, over cheap warm plonk and soggy canapés; Jack’s book is a candle-light dinner, and a heart-to-heart with a trusted confidante.
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an endless bucket of salty popcorn you absent-mindedly snack on between meals; Jack’s book is a dark chocolate truffle you roll your tongue, to prolong the experience
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is face-puckering tequila, a suck on a lemon and lick of salt; Jack’s book is a full-bodied Bordeaux, maturing and breathing in a crystal cut goblet
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is a frantic knee-trembler with Tabitha the Tart, Jack’s book is a post-coital embrace that lingers ’til dawn
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an erratic spin on a dodgem carousel, Jack’s book is a memorable limo ride with leather-clad seats

Big thanks Jack for my chauffeured journey through his Pansy field.

Climb aboard, your own journey awaits…

Thank you, Jay.

You can read the full review here.

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Pussy Lovers

Ever since I published a post called Pussy Galore a few weeks ago, hits to the blog have been inflated by people searching on the word ‘pussy’ – 1200 and rising. It’s heart-warming to know there are so many cat lovers out there in cyberspace interested in quirky moggie tales. Or maybe they’re fans of Honor Blackman, the ravishing, smoky-voiced Sixties beauty who played Bond girl Pussy Galore in Goldfinger. I hope they weren’t too disappointed to get a camp compilation of pussy-loving Mrs Slocombe from Are You Being Served?

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Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Fancy Another?

Jilly Likes a Drink

Wine tasting (ok, wine guzzling) is an essential element of our hedonista lifestyle. Together, we survive on in a month what I alone used to earn in a week so we’re rather preoccupied with the cost;  prices have been rising due to increased taxation on alcohol. We don’t have a car so we can’t take advantage of the bulk bargains to be had at Metro, the local cash and carry warehouse. Instead we have to make do with what’s on offer in local supermarkets.

We care about the quality (though less so after the second bottle) and quality isn’t necessarily linked to cost. As Brits, we’ve been rather spoilt for choice. Setting aside the small amount of vino produced by English vineyards, all wine in Blighty is shipped in from the four corners of the globe. Generally, this means the quality is reasonable, even at the plonk end of the market. Liam likes a full bodied red. I prefer a crisp white. We’ve found a couple of labels that tickle our taste buds: Sava from Carrefour (the French multi-national) and Beyzade, occasionally from Tansaş. Both sell at around 7 lira (about £2.40 or $1.80) and are very good value. We’re not experts. We don’t do the Jilly Goolden roll, smell and spit routine. We just sup. A lot. I’ll drink to that.

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Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Midsomer Murder

I’ve been asked what the book is actually about. You’ll have to read it to find out, but suffice it to say, I learned some valuable lessons from David Steddall, the English Literature teacher at my South London grammar school. “A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end,” he would say. We’ve all heard the mantra. He seemed to like my essays, even if they were sometimes a little risqué in a post-pubescent, hormone-raging sort of way. His encouragement gave me confidence. He would often give me top marks and have me recite my work in class. Tragically, I failed* my Lit O Level. I just didn’t get the poetry and I was a lazy little student. Still, I’ve stayed faithful to Dave’s cause ever since and my book has a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s not a random series of observations like the blog. It’s the full story of our time in Turkey, warts and all. It’s not all light and frothy either. We’ve experienced some dark moments here:

Liam left exactly two months after we moved into the house in Bodrum. He dashed home on a mercy mission and I had no idea when he would be coming back. Üzgün’s death had thrown him off kilter and now he was needed in London.

The night before, we had dined al fresco to take advantage of yet another blessed, balmy evening. Liam’s gastronomic ambitions had reached such a pinnacle that we had less and less reason to eat out. The courtyard was a perfect setting. We reminisced about the days when, at the slightest hint of fine weather, we would rush home from work and grab the opportunity to eat in the garden.

We chinked glasses. “To the good life, Liam.”

It was a hollow toast. Üzgün’s murder had changed everything. He had been raped, robbed and murdered by three teenagers in a back street of Yalıkavak. His body was found in a dry river bed, naked, beaten and barely recognisable.

Liam got the call he had been dreading. He packed a suitcase and taxied to the airport to pick up the next available flight. I stayed awake for most of the night, texting Liam and trying to make sense of the mess around us. I camped on the balcony for hours, questioning my flawed understanding of Turkish society, balancing the highs with the lows and wondering if, ultimately, we had made one huge mistake. My head was a mass of interconnected thoughts and contradictions, each leading to a different conclusion and each stirring up an emotion that took me right back to where I started. I set myself a challenge. I would stay awake until the morning; by then I would know what to do.

The lights went out in Türkkuyusu just as they had done many times before. How could Turkey ever hope to become an industrial powerhouse if they couldn’t keep the bloody lights on? I stared into the darkened streets, lit only by the headlights of passing traffic. I wanted to speak to Liam but he was in the skies somewhere over Europe. I wanted to ask him why we didn’t go to Spain or why we left London in the first place. I knew he would answer, “because we’re different and different is good. Remember the pioneers. ‘Good As You’, they said.”

*I passed English Language with flying colours (along with history). Liam is trying to convert me to the joys of poetry. I fear it’s a lost cause.

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X Factor Final

We watched the X Factor final from Wembley Arena. Polished production, big numbers, slick performances (but too many advert breaks). Commercial, manufactured bubble gum pop? Certainly. Fun and entertaining? Absolutely. Liam’s a huge fan. My first visit to the arena was way back in 1974 (I think) to watch Alice Cooper perform his Welcome to My Nightmare show. It was fabulous. I’m a huge fan.

Out and Proud

Little Mix won. I’m sure they’ll do well. Personally, I was rooting for Marcus Collins. I’m not saying this because he’s a member of the brethren. I’m saying this because he’s a charming young man and a great entertainer who I suspect will outlive the usual fifteen minutes of fame. Marcus makes no secret of his sexuality. He’s out and proud. He has a boyfriend and is a fantastic role model for young gay men. It’s no big deal to anyone except, perhaps, to the producers of the show as it was never mentioned. X Factor exploits the back stories of the contestants. It’s part of the formula. They interviewed his loving family, his best friend, even the Lord Mayor of Liverpool got a look in. Where was the boyfriend? Maybe he didn’t want be exposed. If so, that’s fine. If not, that’s not fine.

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Prowler Stocks Perking the Pansies

Prowler WindowOn the day Perking the Pansies, hit the presses, I found out that Joe Storey-Scott, the Book & Film Buyer for Millivres Prowler Group, contacted my publisher, Jo Parfitt. Prowler is Blighty’s premiere gay lifestyle chain with outlets in Brighton and on London’s Brewer Street, Soho. Joe has agreed to stock the book. Wow. Thank you, Joe.

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Head Scarves and High Heels

I see Abdullah Gül, the President of Turkey, has been on a three day state visit to Blighty. I’m glad to see that cordial diplomatic relations are being maintained between our two great nations. As is the custom, Her Maj greeted the President and the First Lady on the steps of Buck House. Bodrum Belle, Jessica, sent me a link to a Daily Mail piece about it. I don’t read the rag and would normally have missed out on seeing this fantastic photograph; it’s pure pleasure. I wonder what the usually inscrutable old Queen was thinking? Take a look:

The Queen’s Astonishment

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Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Where Have All the Women Gone?

Liam’s back from Blighty, exhausted and in need of a little TLC. Naughty Nancy picked him up from Bodrum Airport while I warmed the house with candles, decanted the red and prepared a homecoming meal. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my culinary skills leave a great deal to be desired, but there is one simple dish I can cook without causing an international incident. It’s a one pot number of chicken thighs, tomatoes, peppers, red onions, and spices brewed in red wine. I just bung it all in and hope for the best – a winter warmer on a chilly night.

A winter warmer was needed. Liam brought the dodgy weather back with him – cold, wind and rain. As we sat down to chomp on my juicy thighs, we reminisced about our first winter in Yalıkavak. When we first rambled into the little town on one of those sunny midwinter days, things felt foreign, in more ways than one. ‘Jesus, where are all the women?’ I remember Liam asking. He was right. The scarcity of women in public was a complete shock to the system and a standard feature of Turkish life that we would never fully come to terms with. Okay, during high season, the female population was augmented by foreign bikini babes with their jugs out for the boys, and by the occasional painted lady of the night looking to make a quick rouble. Out of season though, things were a different affair entirely. Yalıkavak became a man’s world. It took us a while to acclimatise. Eventually, we uncovered the fairer sex hidden away in the fields, ringing the tills at supermarkets, dishing out the dosh in Turkish banks or playing happy families on a Sunday stroll. It was a real culture shift for the boys from the Smoke.

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Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey