Have it Your Way

Are you a thoroughly modern Millie and would like to download Perking the Pansies to your fancy Kindle thingy bobby? Perhaps you’re opposed to Amazon taking over the world? (Of course, I couldn’t possibly comment). Or maybe you’re a bit of a traditionalist that likes to browse the shelves and thumb through the latest releases? Well, you can do all these things. Perking the Pansies is now available to download to Kindle, to purchase online at WH Smiths and Waterstones (and many other online stores) and to order at any good bookshop near you. Go on, you know you want to.

Alternatively, you could buy the paperback or Kindle edition through my website and I’ll earn an extra few pence. No pressure.

All I Want for Christmas

I’m taking a festive break from this blogging lark. I’m knackered. Normal services will be resumed in the New Year (unless there’s a book crisis). Peace and goodwill to all pansy fans whoever and wherever you are. Revel in your drunken parties, one night stands, quality time with lovers, partners, family and friends or just have fun shutting the wicked world out to curl up on a sofa with a good book, a good bottle or a good DVD. Whatever Christmas means to you, enjoy.

Meanwhile, somewhere on the high seas, the crew of the HMS Ocean found out they would all be home for Christmas after 214 days at sea. They just had to celebrate, sometimes shirtless.

Cue the festive video from our brave jolly Jack Tars. There’s a couple of jolly Jackies too (though not topless, obviously).

Check out my book

A Kindle for Christmas

Apparently, Kindle is de rigeur these days, the latest must have. I’m getting one for Christmas. I didn’t want it but Liam insisted. I won’t be using it lounging round a cool pool. I’d be terrified of splashing it with water, smearing it with sun tan lotion or spilling my G&T over it. I know I said I wasn’t going to mention the book again until 2012. I lied. So shoot me. Perking the Pansies is now available on Kindle. A bargain at £5.13.

Check out the book

London in a Minute

We love our laidback Bodrum life even when huddled under a duvet watching BBC Entertainment on a loop. There’s just enough to do in Bodrum to keep us entertained during the short days of winter – cafés, restaurants, cinema, people. The summer hassle has been replaced by a more civilised, gentile pace and we will savour it before the heat and the hustle returns. However, this winter has been different; we’ve been spending our days beavering away to plug the book to death. You’re probably fed hearing about it. I know I am. They’ll be no more talk of it until 2012, unless something dramatic happens like a nomination for the Booker Prize or a call from a TV executive asking to buy the rights. Of course, this is as likely as me losing my virginity, but if the impossible happens, Liam wants to be played by Jude Law. He’s suggested that Danny DeVito might step into my pink slippers.

We’re really looking forward to our flying visit to Blighty for our big city Christmas fix. Bugger the doom and gloom and the whinging soothsayers who seem to wallow in the misery of others. We’re going to have fun in our home town.

Cue the cute London in a Minute video courtesy of Travel Yourself

Check out my new book:

Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Miracle Child

At the virginal age of 18, Liam moved from the Smoke to South Wales to study for his music degree at Cardiff University. He stayed in Wales for 15 years. Having paid £5 to get in across the Severn Bridge, he wanted his money’s worth. The Principality has a rich history of musical excellence and this rubbed off on the young Liam. During his long exile in the Valleys, he lost his virtue and used his mouth and hands to creative effect on oboe and ivory. He sought satisfaction for his creative juices and found it with the Mountain Ash and District Choral Society who commissioned him to compose Christmas carols. Eventually, he hitched up his skirt and waded across Offa’s Dyke to return like the Prodigal Son to the bosom of his family. Liam’s never quite forgotten those halcyon days of quavers and choirs. Even today, his long-past association with these talented people brings a tear to his eye and joy to his heart. Imagine his pleasure and surprise when, two decades on, he discovered that they are once again performing one of his 20th Century pieces at a 2011 Christmas service. It’s made his year.

As it’s that Christmas time of year again, I give you Miracle Child for your festive entertainment. It’s a bit ropey as it was recorded on an old cassette recorder at the back of the hall. Hey, it beats the hell out of Slade on a continuous loop.

Miracle Child

The book

Blighted Blighty

Blighted Blighty

 

I received a witty email from Blighty life friend, Ian. No, that’s not him in the photo. As youngish singletons, he and I cruised across Europe and beyond, seeking high jinks and low frolics. Amsterdam, Paris, Gran Canaria, Sitges, Istanbul, Croydon – nowhere was safe. These days we’re both hitched and respectable pillars of the community.

Ian wrote:

Hope all’s well in your world and you are gearing up for an uneventful Brit visit. It’s relentless doom and gloom here, of course, with a daily update of Angela Merkel’s hair-do on the News and Cameron getting redder and redder as the weeks pass. The British media are loving exploring all the Doomsday scenarios, obviously. Still, Harry from Mcfly is still in Strictly so there’s something to swoon over as we all sink into the abyss. Hope your launch is massive. The Champoo is on you!

Strictly Coming Dancing, the opium of the masses. Good old Auntie Beeb. Harry is rather fetching, though. He’d certainly keep my mind off the overdraft.

Check out my book

Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

Marriage Equality in Argentina

Argentina, the land of silver and the smouldering tango, has come a long way since the dark days of deified bottle-blonds, military juntas and bankruptcy (wasn’t Madonna shocking in Evita?). The country is a rising star, economically and socially. Progressive liberalism has taken root and social attitudes are being transformed. Argentina was the first country in South America to adopt full marriage equality for lesbian and gay people.

The equalities campaign was boosted by a clever and slick video campaign with a simple message of fairness. A sterling effort all round. Maybe Buenos Aries should be the next stop on our pansy trail? A breath of fresh air.

Check out my book

Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey

I Heard it on the Grapevine

I’ve heard on the grapevine that some people who’ve pre-ordered my book from Amazon.co.uk have received an email informing them that delivery has been delayed. My publisher assures me that there’s no problem at the printing end of the process. Demand is such that Amazon are temporarily out of stock. Who’d have thought?

The book

A Post-coital Embrace that Lingers ’til Dawn

I received Roving Jay’s review of Perking the Pansies this morning. I needed a stiff drink to calm me down (I made do with strong coffee – even I don’t sup for breakfast). Jay has a written a magical and delicious review. I’m truly flattered and rather humbled. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

For those of you who follow my Bodrum Travel Blog, you know I have a penchant for Top 5 lists, so in honour of the launch of Jack’s first book, I’ve put together a Top 5 list of metaphors to describe my comparison of “Perking the Pansies” the Blog and “Perking the Pansies” the Book:

  • Whereas Jack’s blog is tipsy small-talk, over cheap warm plonk and soggy canapés; Jack’s book is a candle-light dinner, and a heart-to-heart with a trusted confidante.
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an endless bucket of salty popcorn you absent-mindedly snack on between meals; Jack’s book is a dark chocolate truffle you roll your tongue, to prolong the experience
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is face-puckering tequila, a suck on a lemon and lick of salt; Jack’s book is a full-bodied Bordeaux, maturing and breathing in a crystal cut goblet
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is a frantic knee-trembler with Tabitha the Tart, Jack’s book is a post-coital embrace that lingers ’til dawn
  • Whereas Jack’s blog is an erratic spin on a dodgem carousel, Jack’s book is a memorable limo ride with leather-clad seats

Big thanks Jack for my chauffeured journey through his Pansy field.

Climb aboard, your own journey awaits…

Thank you, Jay.

You can read the full review here.

Check out the book

Pussy Lovers

Ever since I published a post called Pussy Galore a few weeks ago, hits to the blog have been inflated by people searching on the word ‘pussy’ – 1200 and rising. It’s heart-warming to know there are so many cat lovers out there in cyberspace interested in quirky moggie tales. Or maybe they’re fans of Honor Blackman, the ravishing, smoky-voiced Sixties beauty who played Bond girl Pussy Galore in Goldfinger. I hope they weren’t too disappointed to get a camp compilation of pussy-loving Mrs Slocombe from Are You Being Served?

Check out my new book:

Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey