We Are Not Amused

We are not amused

I am sorry to bang on about this but I really don’t know how the empire builders did it. Those buttoned up Victorians in heavy drapes must have been made of sterner stuff. We’ve mastered the art of minimising all movement unless absolutely necessary. The upper floor of the house is completely abandoned save for our clothes which radiate heat as if just removed from a tumble dryer. We take regular cold showers and Liam’s only bound copy of his treasured composition for string quartet is employed as a fan stand in an attempt to dry our clammy old hides. Death by heat exhaustion is surely to follow.

18 thoughts on “We Are Not Amused

  1. Your opening sentence before I read it was intended to be the opening line of my FB status on this evening’s shinanigans (spooky). Tonight beachside having a meal, a few drinkies and laughs with friends, and I would normally say, “catching the breeze” would esrtswhile have been the icing on the cake BUT there wasn’t any breeze to catch! I had to depart and leave the party because the unattractive drippiing tresses and the clamminess was rendering me uncomfortable and exhausted. All I could think of was the comfort of my “outside bedroom” on the balocny of my 3rd floor apartment block especially rigged up with modesty curtains and a lowly mattress and how I could be sprawled out in nothing but my birthday suit and how quickly I could get home to experience the “Bliss”. Even if the Milk Tray Man came flying in right now offering himself to me – I would tell him where to stick his soft centres! Strange how your priorties change when experiencing what could be for some a taste of “Hell”

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  2. This time of year it always amazes me how the pretty young Turks can wander around in jeans and long sleeves. With perfect makeup which doesn’t appear to be running down their faces!…when us lesser mortals are barely modest in the level of clothing we can bare to wear and are sitting in a pool of our own sweat with swollen feet …doesn’t seem fair really!

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  3. Perhaps you could find a cool, darkened building (I’m thinking old church, mosque, palace of some sort, large public library) where you and Liam could surreptitiously nap under a pew or between the book stacks?? If all else fails, it may be time for an inexpensive jaunt to the sea. (Yes, I laughed as I typed the word ‘inexpensive’, too.) It may be that your ‘cost of living’ includes more traveling than you’d expected; accommodations needn’t be deluxe, merely cooler than what you’re suffering with. Here’s to a break in the weather!

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    1. Alas there will be no break ’til late September. We pop down to the town beach for a dip and take cold showers. As for the house, we think we’ve found a solution which is being installed as I type!

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  4. Ooh I’m interested in hearing what the solution is. (did you manage to get the aircon installed after all?)

    The temps hit 40 today and our water has been off for most of yesterday and today so I couldn’t even shower…thank goodness I’m on my own at the moment….it’s getting smelly around here!

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  5. You are quite welcome to have a midnight dip in our pool but you do have to take the dolly to get where we are in Yahsi.

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  6. Jack, I also wonder about all that Empire get-up. How could they live in so many layers of brocade and linen (and who ironed it, linen´s impossible?). I think there´s something they´re not telling us – it´s obviously a “cover up” boom boom!

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