Obsessing about the weather is a national pastime for the Brits. I guess I’m no different from my compatriots. I railed against the wind, cold and winter monsoons in February. I’m now wilting in sizzling summer and the varnish is peeling off the window sills. So far our search for a cooling solution has been fruitless. I’m touched by the concern of others towards our plight and the ingenious suggestions to douse the heat (of the wrong kind) in our bed.
- Carole suggests an industrial fan – comes with a built in facelift as a by-product which is well worth thinking about.
- Deborah suggests sticking our feet in a bowl of iced water – a method of torture favoured by the KGB.
- Karyn suggests sleeping outside which would be like trying to catnap on the hard shoulder of the M25.
- Alan suggests a dehumidifier – more bloody lira down the pan
- Linda suggests wrapping a freezer pack in a tea towel and applying it our hot bits – get your mind out of the gutter.
- Kym suggests retiring at night in wet socks – guaranteed to dampen our ardour and rot the mattress.
- Hana suggests getting down to Arçelik and reviewing the problem with someone who knows what they’re taking about – what in Turkey?
- As a last resort, Karyn suggests using child labour to fan us with ostrich feathers – How very British Raj and a practice likely to court the attention of the local Jandarma.
All is not lost. We’ve hit on an idea that might bring relief. Inşallah.