IDAHO Day

Today is IDAHO Day. For the uninitiated, this stands for International Day Against Homophobia (not to be confused with a holiday in the 43rd State of the Union). On this day in 1990, the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from the International Classification of Diseases. No longer were gay people officially categorised as sick and mentally disordered. IDAHO Day was conceived by the French academic and human rights activist, Louis-Georges Tin, with the aim to raise awareness about the plight of sexual minorities across the globe who live in daily fear of casual discrimination, systematic violence and state-sponsored murder. Some of us are fortunate to live in societies where attitudes have changed radically and where we are protected by a comprehensive body of law. Most are not so fortunate. This does not mean that mindless, sometimes violent, homophobia is no longer with us. Far from it. We must always be on our guard against the knee-jerkers and pond life who mean to do us harm. And we still have a long way to go to effectively eradicate transphobia. But, spare a thought for the brave souls in other lands whose very existence is a crime, where silence and denial are the only instruments of survival. Earlier this week, I had the honour to interview Eric Gitari, a human rights lawyer and activist in Kenya, on Future Radio’s Pride Live Show. Eric is helping to co-ordinate IDAHO Day in his own country and campaigns to abolish the draconian laws inherited from the British Raj. Believe me, his work is no walk in the park but Eric refuses to be silent. Today, ordinary people in many corners of the world will mark IDAHO Day publicly. However, some will do so in private and who can blame them? To be lynched from an olive tree or burned to death by a tyre necklace is nobody’s idea of a gay old time.

PS: The Kenyan Police banned the IDAHO march in Nairobi minutes before it was due to set off. No surprises then.

Ye Olde Curiosity Shop

The traditional high street is under seige from a flat-lining economy, increased rents (no, I don’t understand that either during a recession) and the relentless pressure from the big boys with their charmless out-of-town retail parks sucking up all the trade. Norwich seems to have bucked the trend by preserving its novelty. Of course, the narrow maze of city centre streets has its fair share of chains with their identikit offerings but there’s also a treasure trove of independents to graze. Maybe the city’s relative isolation is its saviour (the last section of the dual carriageway from the Smoke is only now being built and the train service is express-less). Perhaps it’s a benign planning environment by farsighted burghers. Who knows? Whatever the reason, long may it continue. Here’s just a small sample to whet the appetite and loosen the purse.

Give Us a Quiche

Jarrolds is a Norwich institution. The family-run business has outlets dotted about all over the shop. The Book Hive is the best independent bookshop in town. Both Jarrolds and the Book Hive declined to stock my book. Jarrolds refused (politely). The Book Hive didn’t respond at all. I don’t hold it against them (much).

The Grosvenor Fish Bar on the corner of Pottergate and Lower Goat Lane offers delicious, artery-hardening deep-fried heart attacks. It gets my vote because punters are welcome to finger the fish over a pint in the pub opposite. Personally, I prefer to nibble on a battered sausage (cue Liam). The public house in question, The Birdcage, has been the scene of our undoing many times now.

I doubt Meryl Streep ever visited this corner of the Dark Continent when she was attempting a truly terrible Viking accent in ‘Out of Africa.’ Do they really sell slices of crocodile, ostrich, springbok and zebra? Well, if Tesco’s can flog donkey burgers, why not?

Liam spends endless hours thumbing through the sheet music in this old-school music shop as he contemplates a profitable sideline teaching piano. He’s quite talented with his fingers, my Liam. This little gem is right along the street from our weaver’s cottage.

Finally, my personal favourite – not because I’m a cock in a frock at weekends and call myself Jacky but because Pepperberry’s sell ‘clothes designed with your boobs in mind.’ It’s just as well, as I have noticed that quite a few Norfolk broads do look like they’ve eaten all the pies.

Spamalot

Generally, I enjoy this blogging malarkey. I’m little troubled by the cyber-trolls and infobahn ne’er do wells. But, one tedious aspect of blogging is the endless stream of spam attacks – over 34,000 so far. If only I got that amount of genuine interest. Most get picked up by WordPress’ spam filter but a few still sneak through. I receive an eclectic range of spam – the collective weaknesses, desires, vices and foibles of humanity are laid bare in Latin, Cyrillic, Arabic and Chinese (and probably in Runic if I bothered to decipher) mixed in with the endless machine-generated auto-babble. I could develop RSI just from the repetitive deletes. Since our return to Blighty, I’ve noticed an alarming increase in the number of dodgy comments from pay day loan companies (parasites, actually). These micro loans are designed to lure the financially embarrassed as they struggle from one wage to the next. Shooting ducks spring to mind. There’s a recession on. Some people are short of the readies and easily seduced. I looked up one of the more well-known lenders who advertise on the box. Their ‘representative APR’ is 2414%. Yes, you read right – two thousand, four hundred and fourteen per cent. I hear the ConDems intend to cap the rates these lenders charge – this year, next year, sometime never. These smiley cyber-sharks in sharp suits don’t need to send in the heavies to bully the desperate. They can afford to drop a few pounds and a couple of percent and still be quids in.

Beautiful Thing

Recently, my gig at Pride Live on Norwich’s Future Radio gave me the chance to chat with Nikolai Foster, the director of the 2013 revival of Jonathan Harvey’s ‘Beautiful Thing.’ What fun we had. Alas, I’ve never seen the play (I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time) but I have seen the Channel 4 film (over and over) and it’s as fresh today as it was when it was first released in 1996. At the time it was such a relief to watch a gay-themed drama that was about life and living rather than death and dying.

Beautiful Thing is currently playing at the Arts Theatre in the West End until 25^th of May after which it goes on mini tour – Liverpool, Leeds and Brighton (sadly, not Norwich). Grab your ticket while you can.

To listen to the entire Pride Live podcast, click here.

The Bodrum Peninsula Travel Guide

The Bodrum Peninsula on Turkey’s stunning Aegean coast is the summer playground for hundreds of thousands of discerning holiday-makers offering something for everyone – the beach bum, party animal, culture vulture or adrenalin junkie. Described as the ‘San Tropez of Turkey,’ the whitewashed town of Bodrum (ancient Halicarnassus) is the beating heart of the Peninsula where the Turkish elite come to let their hair down. ‘The Bodrum Peninsula Travel Guide: Turkey’s Aegean Gem’ is the definitive book for visitors and expats alike from the marvellous Jay Artale, part-time resident and someone in the know. The book is packed to the rafters with meticulously researched facts and fun, sites and scenes, eats and treats, must-dos and don’t-dos, both on and off the well-beaten track. Need to know how to get about? Want insider knowledge on the best boat trips to hidden coves and where to find ancient sites to tumble over? Looking for the best places to eat for authentic rustic cuisine? Fancy a high-energy water-ski ride around the bay? Dying to know what bars to see and be seen in? It’s all here, and much, much more. Whether dipping in for a hint or two or reading cover-to-cover in one serving, this book should be in everyone’s suitcase.

Philadelphia

Last month, John, my eldest brother and his missus came to visit. He’s the eldest of five and would be the first to admit that when I trampolined out of the closet at the tender age of 16, he was none too pleased. In those far-flung days, only the likes of sexually ambivalent Larry Grayson, Kenneth Williams and John Inman were in the public consciousness and they all kept a foot firmly in the closet door. Most people thought all queers were predatory child abusers recruiting for the cause (some pond life still does, of course). Ironic, now that the Jimmy Savile scandal from that very era has now hit the fan. As the years rolled by, my brother’s views mellowed and moderated. I see his altered image as a metaphor for society as a whole. On the evening of our 5th wedding anniversary, John and his wife treated us to a slap-up meal at Jamie’s Italian. Thanks bro!

It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum

Overwhelmingly, most pansyfans hail from Britain, Turkey or the States so you can imagine my delight when I noticed that someone from Malaysia was pushing the numbers up by having a good old root around the blog – 334 posts and rising. In the late sixties, I spent nearly three years in Malaysia as a young army brat on a base just outside Malacca. My memories of life in the tropical sun are vivid and glorious. In fact, both my sisters were born in the country (at different times – my sergeant major father was posted there twice). I hope to pop back one day, as my eldest brother has done. So, whoever you are my Malaysian friend, I thank you. You’ve provided the perfect excuse to fish out some ancient time-worn snaps and take a skip down memory lane.

Sizzling Summer Reads

This writing lark has provided an unexpected bonus: I get asked to review books and they are sent to me for free. It’s mostly (but not always) a fun and diverting pastime. It also forces me away from the keyboard: I tend to read a few chapters at a time over an Americano in a local coffee shop. Now that spring is upon us (here’s hoping) and thoughts turn to a welcome break in a faraway land, you might be looking for the perfect holiday read. You could do a lot worse than these titles. You’ll be relieved to know that I’m not plugging my own work this time.

Sleeping People Lie – Jae De Wylde

A chance meeting, a stolen glance, a skipped beat and the birth of a fine romance? Well, not exactly. There are no roses round the door in this gripping trans-Atlantic tryst of passion, intrigue, obsession, and deception. Sleeping People Lie is a splendid affair of the fixated heart with a bitter-chocolate twist. A box of Cadbury’s Milk Tray it ain’t. Where will it end? That would be giving the game away. Jae De Wylde’s second book is a corker (and her first book was pretty good too). The lady’s going far. Fabulous!

Impossibly Glamorous – Charles Ayres

Charles Ayres has a white knuckle tale to tell and he tells it with wit and panache in his romping autobiography, ‘Impossibly Glamorous.’ From the moment Charles dropped out of the womb he was different and being different in Eighties Mid-West USA was no walk in the prairie. The MENSA-brained boy from Kansas country found the Bible Belt wanting and went in search of eastern spice. Draped in a second-hand fake fur he used like a comfort blanket, Charles turned on his heels, hitched up his skirt, rode out of town and lay down his sequined saddle bag in the Land of the Rising Sun. It was not all glitter and glitz. Much of the time it was a broken-hearted obstacle course of depression and hand-to-mouth living. By his own admission, Charles has not been the best judge of matters of the heart and he brushes aside one red flag after another with a camp, dismissive wave. Fortunately, there’s an eclectic cast of extras to haul him up from the emotional abyss, including my personal favourites, “the Ladies of the Commonweath.” MTV during its glory days provides a vibrant soundtrack to the adventures and mishaps. As a Tokyo radio translator and TV personality, a dazzling pantheon of stars passed through his hands and Charles deliciously name-drops his way through his extraordinary saga. In the end, though, a diet of oriental fame brought little fortune and there’s no glamour in penury. Through it all, Charles’ humour, humanity, candour, unquenchable thirst for life and rare insight into the slings and arrows, cut through the crap like a blazing shooting star. Charles Ayres is impossibly glamorous and can light up my party anytime.

An Inconvenient Posting – Laura J Stephens

When husband, David, received the job offer of a lifetime to head up his company’s office in Houston, Texas, it could not have come at a worse time for Laura. Their young children were settled and thriving in the home that she cherished, she was close to launching her own career as a counsellor and her parents had moved nearby to enable them to spend quality time with their grandchildren while they still could. To say Laura was conflicted would be a sweeping understatement. But, her love and loyalty for her high flying husband meant that she was determined to do the right thing even when her heart was screaming “no”. Besides, exchanging the grey and dripping skies of England for the endless horizons of Texas had its attractions. How bad could it be? ‘An Inconvenient Posting’ is an agonisingly candid and raw account of loss and transition. Dark and broody but revelational and comic at the same time, this book will resonate with anyone who has found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did Laura live the American dream? You best read the book to find out.

Forced to Fly – Jo Parfitt

I read the first publication of `Forced to Fly’ and thoroughly enjoyed it. As well as 20 brand new anecdotes from a range of expat writers (including me) and bloggers, this second edition also includes a thoughtful new chapter on emotional resilience, a hot topic these transient days. This funny and forceful anthology is the definitive must-read reference for all novice and experienced expats. Slip it into your hand luggage as you board your flight to paradise. Forearmed is forewarned.

Shaikh-Down – David Gee

Decadent western mores slap stifling medieval manners around the face and lose. Nothing could have prepared Cass and Eddy for what was to come when they dumped their unwanted pasts at check-in and headed for the oasis. Follow them as they struggle to keep their heads above water (and on their shoulders). An (almost) bloodless coup upsets the expat apple cart of decadent days and raunchy nights, forcing the lotus eaters to hitch up their skirts and scramble for the border. A delicious, laugh-out-loud, randy romp through the myopic and bawdy world of Gulf expatriate life set against the chilling winds of change.

Going Local in Gran Canaria – Matthew Hirtes

Going Local in Gran Canaria is the definitive guide for visitors and expats alike, covering all aspects of life in this semi-tropical Atlantic semi-paradise. The book is packed to the rafters with well-researched facts and fun, sites and scenes, eats and treats, must-dos and don’t-dos, both on and off the well-beaten track. The entire package is delivered in a witty and erudite style from someone in the know, as is to be expected from a seasoned journalist of Matthew Hirtes’ calibre. Amusing anecdotes weave through the book. I particularly like the notion that nasty General Franco exiled gay soldiers to the island which may explain Gran Canaria’s perennial appeal to the gay community. I’ve been a regular visitor for over 25 years so maybe there’s some truth in this fanciful tale. Whether dipping in for a hint or two or reading cover-to-cover, this book should be in everyone’s Canarian suitcase.

Sunshine Soup – Jo Parfitt

I found it impossible not to be drawn in to this book. The characters are strikingly drawn and developed, the plot is compelling and the sights and sounds of Dubai form an evocative backdrop to a hugely enjoyable story of loss, intrigue and redemption. I found the story of Maya (the book’s main character) very believable and for me that makes this novel appealing. And yes, there is an actual recipe for Sunshine Soup at the end of the book, along with 19 others – a nice touch.

Bitten by Spain – Deborah Fletcher

I was bitten by ‘Bitten by Spain.’ Once in a while you read a book that makes you laugh out loud. I loved it. The author moved from her ever so sensible existence in the UK to build a new life in Spain and she describes her adventures, warts and all, with an amusing, easy-to-read style. The fact that her dogs, cat and parrots joined the fray added some real pathos and when the menagerie is augmented by an assortment of wild birds, feral animals and creepy-crawlies the final mix is hilarious. I was struck by Deborah’s pluck (she was often alone because her husband was often back in the UK working) and there are some tender and thought-provoking moments along with the humour. It really is a lovely read and the kind of book you can dip in and out of (the chapters are a bit like bite-sized set pieces). I actually read it in one long sitting accompanied by a good bottle of Rioja.

The Okçular Book Project – Alan Fenn

Last but not least…

‘Okçular Village – a Guide’ and ‘Backways & Trackways.’ I whole-heartedly recommend these books because income from sales is spent on environmental and community projects in the village of Okçular, near Dalyan in Turkey.

Shop ‘Til You Drop

With the weather finally on the up and blossom dripping from the trees, the citizens of Norwich were out in their droves doing what the Brits do best – shop and sup. Purses and plastic were loosened in a brave attempt to drag the economy out of the abyss. Technically, the economy is as flat as a witch’s tit, rather than triple dipping and the patient needs all the TLC it can get. Market stalls toppled out onto the pavement, till queues weaved round Primark, the M&S food hall heaved with Norfolk broads and we couldn’t find a table in Pret a Manger when we bagged a baguette.

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We escaped the madding crowd by browsing the floor show in the Forum. Modern art isn’t everyone’s cup of char but Liam loved it. I left him to peruse the exhibits and ordered a couple of drinks at the bar. Cheers!

Perking the Pansies