From Local to Yokel

It’s Sod’s Law. As soon we decide to paddle back to Blighty on the evening tide to become country yokels, two things happen to make life in battered Bodrum just that little bit easier and that little bit cheaper.

First off, the Town’s highways and byways are being laid with fibre optic cables. A battalion of dusky, sweaty vested navvies is carving out mini-trenches along every street. The deep furrows are being backfilled badly and dribbled with lumpy tarmac. In some of the crazy paving alleys, zigzagging troughs look like hastily repaired earthquake cracks.

The project is a joint venture between Super Online (internet) and Turkcell (mobile phone). Fibre optic cables provide a much faster and more reliable internet experience and the new service will give the current whore’s drawers service from TTNET (Turk Telekom) a run for its money. Who knows, it may even drive down prices. I hear there are also plans for cable TV in the pipeline. Oh, what joy: the chance to tell Digiturk (Satellite broadcaster) where to shove their overpriced packages.

And so to the second piece of good news. Dolly drivers on the flat fare blue-liveried bus routes now charge us the tariff usually reserved for locals (2 lira instead of 2.75 as advertised in English). It’s only taken two years. Sadly, we’ve yet to get the local rate at cute Ali’s barbers for our one-round-the-side-two-on-the-top crops. He’s worth it though. Even without the ‘extras’.

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17 thoughts on “From Local to Yokel

  1. I always give 2 lira – when they argue I tut and sit down. Works for the locals and so far…………………. BTW are you sure it is cables and not the plant watering system? Just asked local resident and they said “yes’ it is really exciting – in the future we will have council drinking water and fibre optics!” He was smiling!!!!


  2. Fibre optic cabling eh! Well 30 years on that just about sounds right for here. There was great excitement and amazement when Fets Highways and Byeways put in the first pedestrian controlled traffic lights in town, Locals couldn’t believe they could stop the traffic by the push of a button to cross the road.

    Maybe you and L should reconsider your relocation – you could open up your local defunct market as Pansy Pancakes (Crap(e) stylie of course) a whole new money spinning venture with panache! hmmmmmm


  3. Don’t know what you were whingeing about in the first place! My telephony and internet remains at the two-tin-cans-and-a-piece-of-string level, as ever was here. And I bet, furthermore, that our whores are more industrious than your whores …

    Do they have fibre optics in Norfolk?


  4. Good luck with the move! I’ll look forward to reading about your new adventures in Norwich. I’m surprised you’re giving up living in the sun though. We’re certainly not ready for it yet. Bundle up! I see it’s only 7c there today.
    Anne 🙂


  5. Definitely sounds like Sod’s Law to me. So Bodrum has different dolmuş prices for locals and foreigners, does it? Naughty – but we’ll bear it in mind next time we’re in town. 🙂


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