Smash

Smash

We have an embarrassment of TV choices courtesy of Virgin Media but it’s funny how the more channels we get, the more selective we become. It’s a reflection, perhaps, that more of the same isn’t much of a choice at all. So, as the nights draw in, we camp in front of the box hitting the boxed sets. Our latest televisual distraction is Smash, an American soap-style drama about the birth of a stage musical from kernel to opening night – Glee for grown-ups. Less sugar, more spice. The series was a joint birthday gift from our old friend, Clive. Frustrated music-hall maestro, Liam is a sucker for this kind of thing; the gay cliché cap fits my husband very well. The fictitious musical – Bombshell – focusses on the tragic life of Marilyn Monroe as she is passed around the troops. It cleverly parallels Norma Jean’s descent into Hell with that of the musical lead. With an Emmy, a Grammy and Globe nominations under its belt, the show tangos along nicely with twists and turns to suit even the most dedicated conspiracy theorist. There are a few nice tunes and more than a few nice routines but don’t expect to actually like any of the characters that much (with the possible exception of the impresario played by Angelica Huston). There’s an awful lot of back-biting, bitching, double-crossing and good old fashioned infidelity – all in a day’s work for the Broadway board-treading business. It’s a jungle in there and Liam loved every minute.

Turkey in Berlin

Today, I’m featuring a guest post from the gorgeous Marta López, a Spanish travel writer based in London. I rarely include guests posts on Perking the Pansies these days (and never for profit) but when Marta asked if I’d like to publish her article on the trendy Kreuzberg district of Berlin, serving up one of the coolest cities on the planet with an authentic Turkish twist, how could I refuse?

So ladies and gents, I give you…

Turkey in Berlin, Five Reasons to Visit Kreuzberg by Marta López

The German capital hides lots of history and monuments that you definitely should explore when visiting the city for the first time. Once you have done all those things mentioned in your travel guide, there’s still a stop for you at one of the coolest and more colourful districts in Berlin: The Kreuzberg or as it’s also called “the Turkish Berlin”; a very trendy quarter that houses the most alternative culture in the city. This is the home of anarchists, bohemian souls and of course the large Turkish community in Berlin.

These are my top 5 reasons to visit this district in the German capital. And remember, Kreuzberg feels neither East nor West!

1.      It’ s a very multicultural area

It used to be the black sheep of West Berlin (a sort of Bronx in Berlin) and now the truth is that it is the area with the most personality in town. 40 % of the population here is Turkish and the rest of the neighbours are immigrants, especially in the side known as “SO 36”. Every year there is a big festival called “The Carnival of Cultures”, a four day urban festival that reflects the quarter of different faces and cultures. Next year the celebration will take place on the 4th June. Do you fancy a bit of multicultural atmosphere?

2.      You’ll find the best kebabs ever!

Kreuzberg is far from picture pretty and perfect but it´s really cool! Thanks to its large Turkish community living in the area, when you visit the district you will find an endless list of local Turkish bars where you can taste authentic and spicy kebabs. Top tip: Pop in at Imren Grill (Boppstr 10, Berlin) and try their tasty and juicy meat! Did you know that the Donner Kebab was actually invented here? The inventor was a Turkish expat called Kadir Nurman who has just died last October in Berlin.

3.      It’s full of exotic markets

There are lots of colourful markets surrounding the district. Visiting the Turkish market in Maybachufer (note that the market closes on Mondays) means literally transporting yourself to the beautiful Mediterranean country. Here you’ll find exotic textiles, different kind of hummus and lots and lots of people searching for the best products at the best price. Top tip: Try the Turkish pizza; it is out of this world!

4.      You’ll find an alternative culture

It is the home to Berlin’s punk rock movement, as well as other alternative subcultures. From graffiti covered lanes to random museums and galleries like The Berlinische Galerie, which contains Berlin art dating from 1870. But it’s not all about underground art. The Kreuzberg district is also the Mecca for fashionistas! Here arrive all the up-and- coming designers, so if you fancy unique accessories, don’ t hesitate to visit High-Lite (Bergmannstraße 99, Berlin) -We could say it´s a bit like any Shoreditch store in London.

5.      Best nightlife atmosphere in the city

Who said that in Germany it’s not possible to go out until 6.00 am? In Kreuzberg the nightlife starts late and seems to end early in the morning! Most of bars here have that bohemian charm that will encourage you to stay for hours. Don’t miss out clubs such as Lido (Cuvrystraße 7, Berlin) which is in an old cinema from the fifties and runs parties on the weekend, or Monarch Club (Skalitzer Straße 134, Berlin) based in a building that offers amazing views and the best electronic music. If you are a young clubbing addicted adult, you can’t miss it!

Getting there

Transport

Berlin-Tegel Airport (TXL) is located only 8 km from the centre of the city so reaching the centre will take you around 20 minutes. The city buses are the best option. They stop at different points through the city; the main stop in the centre is Alexanderplatz, located in the heart of the Mitte area. If you need to travel from Berlín-Schönefel Airport (SXF) to the centre of Berlin, you can choose between three options: The regional train, the B-Bahn train and the bus that runs on a regular service.

Where to stay

If you are looking for accommodation and you want to stay closer to the alternative scene, you can search hotels in Berlin near Kreuzberg with Expedia. Remember this is probably the most budget-friendly side of the city!

Author Bio:

MartaMarta López is a travel writer based in London.  She loves travelling and discovering new cultures. When she isn’t writing on her laptop, she can be found around the city looking for the coolest urban art. Follow her adventures on twitter @Martazepol

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Lonely hearts1

I’m used to receiving tons of emails telling me that a little blue pill will put the spring back into my step or I’ve hit the jackpot in the Burkina Faso National Lottery. The spam filter on my account picks up most of them and after they’ve been screened by MI5, I’m only troubled by a trickle. Now Facebook is getting in on the act. Hardly a week goes by when I don’t receive a private message from ladies in faraway lands looking for love and, no doubt, bowled over by my sharp wit, winning smile and Judy Garland vinyls. This is the kind of thing:

“Hello Am linda, i saw your profile today and became interested in you, i will like to know you the more, and i want you to send an email to my mail so that i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. Here is my email address (xxxxxx{at} yahoo.de) I believe we can move from here. I am waiting for your reply in my mail don’t send it in the site. Remember the distance or color does not matter but love matters allot in life Note!!! that am not always online on facebook, so do not contact me in facebook contact me directly in my email address at (xxxxxx{at} yahoo.de)”

“hello, My name is Alina, I saw your profile here as i was just browsing through facebook, I will be much pleased to have communication with you,I have a very important thing to discuss with you please reply me on my email address:(xxxxxx outlook com) because am not always on facebook but we can communicate through my private email ID, i will send my pictures to you and more details about me. God bless you.”

Spot the similarity? Me too. Whether it is just an attempt to scam me (and a thousand and one others) out of my bank account details or a genuine international mating game for the lost and lonely, you’d think they’d do their homework first before barking up the wrong tree.

The Yellow Brick Road

jack-the-hack-_writingtipsThe blogging gospel according to St Jack, Chapter Two…

Posts can be written in batches and scheduled to be published over time. Try to post at least once a week, though. It’s good for what’s called search engine optimisation (SEO). Don’t be spooked by this. This is just how Internet search engines index and rank your site— it’s all done in the background. Over time, posting regularly will push up your assets better than a Playtex 18-hour girdle.

More…

Once Upon a Time…

Once the MusicalAnother weekend in the Smoke, another birthday surprise, this time from my old dance partner, Ian. We were treated to matinee tickets for Once, a new musical recently imported from across the Pond. I’d never heard of it but since we’re living in the sticks with our fingers off the pulse, this will surprise no-one. When we realised the set was based around a Dublin bar, we were immediately hooked. By the end of the performance, we were on our feet (as was everyone else). I’m a sucker for a love story and Once ladles it on with a trowel. Cue the brooding young busker with a broken heart and the sassy Czech lass with a quick tongue and a dodgy Hoover (don’t ask). Boy meets girl supported by a catholic cast of Celts and Slavs. Everyone sings, everyone dances and everyone fiddles, strums, beats and blows: the ensemble is the chorus and the orchestra, all wrapped up in an emerald green bow and a Bohemian flourish. Funny, touching and tender, we wept in the aisles. ‘Twas a love story to gladden this old cynic’s heart.

Old Posts Never Die

tamponsReaders of Perking the Pansies tell me that I’ve laid down some vintage posts in my time. They very kindly don’t mention the dross. Search engines and their secret algorithms have also been generous and thankfully, the blog is up there in the rankings. Still, it was a surprise when I received an out-of-the-blue comment from Rhona who stumbled across a guest post from August 2011 called Turks and Tampons. Rhona was having a periodic Turkish crisis and wrote:

Jack, I thought you might be amused by the fact that I found your blog via this post. I was on my first trip to Turkey (Gulluk) with my daughters when without going into detail we found ourselves in need of tampons…..problem! I googled ‘tampons in Turkey’ and there you were lol. But there also was this: tamponcrafts. Enjoy!

I certainly did enjoy a deep trawl through the wonder that is Tampon Crafts – a thousand and one things to do with Lil-Lets. Who knew that Tampax Pearls was so versatile? As Christmas is coming up, I’ve got Liam knocking up a nativity scene for the mantle piece. The Baby Jesus has never looked so absorbent.

One Equal World

Flag and TulipsI’m always chuffed when I’m asked to write a few words about the bees in my bonnet.  One Equal World publishes thoughtful and thought-provoking articles about equalities issues and they asked me about our experiences of Turkey.  This was my two-penneth…

I have often been asked why we chose an Islamic country as a place to step off the treadmill for a while and rest our work-weary bones. It’s not quite that simple; too often, the casual observer will lump all Muslims together. In truth, the Islamic world is no more homogenous than the West. There’s little to distinguish a grandma on a donkey in Christian Greece or Bulgaria from one trotting through a Turkish village. More…

Roy’s Town

Roy’s Town

At the tail end of summer, we took an afternoon excursion to Wroxham, gateway to the Norfolk Broads. We expected pretty and quaint with teahouses, old pubs and happy holiday-makers splashing about in boats. We were disappointed. Anything worth preserving got bull-dozed in the seventies. The small town is entirely dominated by someone called Roy – Roy’s Supermarket, Roy’s Pharmacy, Roy’s Toys, Roy’s Garden Centre (and, no doubt, Roy’s Baby Care and Roy’s Undertakers – a company town from cradle to the grave). Even Ronald McDonald, that global corporate clown, has thrown in the towel by flogging his sweaty burgers and thin chips inside one of Roy’s gaffs. It’s probably a franchise. Far be it for me to criticise anyone who provides local employment but what’s the special deal if Roy kicks the bargain bucket?

Philomena

Philomena

The nice people at Virgin Media offered us two preview tickets to see Philomena, Judi Dench’s latest flick. The advanced screening was at our local Odeon Multiplex which isn’t my venue of choice – too Las Vegas lounge for my liking. I prefer Cinema City, a nice bar-restaurant with a picture house attached. But, it would have been rude to refuse a freebie. Based on true events, the film is about an elderly Irish woman trying to find the son she was forced to give up to the nasty nuns following a quickie with handsome young buck at a village fair. Well, it was the buttoned-up no-thrills Fifties and unmarried mothers were the whores of Babylon. The film co-stars Steve Coogan (who also produced it and co-wrote the screenplay) as the real-like Martin Sixthsmith, former BBC journalist and Blairite spin doctor who wrote the book upon which the film is based. The movie went on general release today so I won’t add a spoiler. Suffice it to say it ain’t The Sound of Music but it isn’t Angela’s Ashes either. The subtle, gentle and often funny script allows the harrowing  story to unfold and take centre stage without the outrage slapping the audience about the face. Dame Judi is, as always, superb and Steve Googan (who is more famous as Norwich’s very own fictitious DJ, Alan Partridge) is surprisingly good.  It’s well worth shelling out a few shillings for.

Beamed Back to Bodrum

TSDSTTR PA062The beauty of renting is that we’re not responsible for all those annoying little things that inevitably go wrong around the home. We had a dodgy boiler that refused to heat water (though it was more than happy to heat the radiators, even when not asked). Our friendly landlady despatched a boiler-suited chatty man with cute dimples. He installed a brand new heat exchanger (No idea? Me neither). I provided tea for his labours and listened intently to my boiler man recall his boiler tales. A dull date on a Saturday night, I thought. Despite the cute dimples.

Then we became undone by a temperamental washing machine that only spun when it could be arsed. The reluctant spin went on for weeks. We were seriously in danger of being buried under sopping piles of dripping undies. Our landlady dispatched a smiley man in baggy bottoms and a corporate polo top. I provided tea for his labours as he tried to wring a final spin out of the moody machine. “It’s knackered,” he concluded. His home-spun words were music to my ears. I almost invited him out for dinner.

A week later, our landlady despatched a replacement appliance escorted by a thick-set older man with an even thicker-set accent. He was accompanied by a spotty young apprentice. “Where’s it plugged in?” asked the old man. “Absolutely no idea,” I replied. After a lot of huffing and puffing, hauling and heaving, he found the socket behind the fridge. Then I watched him slice the live wire with a Stanley knife. The loud bang almost gave me a seizure. Unlike me, he wasn’t the least bit perturbed by the black flume and strong whiff of electrical burn or the fact that he’d blown all the sockets in the kitchen. The young spotty thing was shocked into silence. For one brief moment, I thought I’d been beamed back to Bodrum where all workers are fully qualified electricians/plumbers/carpenters/roofers/rocket scientists (delete as appropriate).

Laurel and Hardy didn’t get tea for their trouble, I can tell you. Well, the kettle wasn’t working.