Jack, the Versatile Blogger

I didn’t win the Cosmo Blog Awards. Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. Who wants recognition from a glossy magazine with a worldwide audience and enormous circulation? Not me. I don’t need it because I’ve just received the Versatile Blogger Award.

A big thank you to Kate at UKate for nominating me. I humbly accept. Yankee Kate writes about being clueless in Blighty, trying to get to grips with all things British. God, help her. We’re a funny lot. Curiously, Kate only seems to live in places beginning with the letter T, moving from Texas to Toronto to Trowbridge (where next, Timbuktu?). Kate’s moved to the Sceptred Isle for love. Aah, bless! I congratulate her on her forthcoming nuptials.

The award comes with conditions. Recipients must formally accept the award with a post featuring the award’s image, reveal seven quirky things about themselves and pass the baton onto 5-15 other bloggers to do the same.

I’m really quirky because:

  • I used to have long curly hair and looked like Marc Bolan. People always assumed it was a perm. It wasn’t.
  • I got scarred for life in the Far East. I caught my thigh on the wheel of an out of control home-made go cart as it careered into a monsoon drain. See, I was a proper rough boy.
  • I’ve never slept with a member of the fairer sex. I got as far as heavy petting with Sheila B (not the Sheila B) and realised the whole thing wasn’t for me. Thank you, Sheila. You changed my life.
  • I have size five feet. You know what small feet mean don’t you? Small shoes.
  • At seventeen, I had a 26 inch waist, wore luminous green loon pants and 5 inch platform shoes. The seventies really was the decade that fashion forgot.
  • At 10, I was the junior champion diver of both Hounslow and Wandsworth in London (we moved in between) and came eighth in the Surrey Diving Championship. I used to be a contender until I discovered hormones and Playgirl.
  • I am a serial monogamist. For the last 32 years I have been partner-less for only 18 months. Who says gay men can’t manage a second date? Either I’m a really good catch or just terrified of being alone (or both).
  • A snotty sales assistant at Harrods tried to get my parents to kit me out in an oversized blazer for my snotty school because he thought they were too poor to buy me a new one each year. Bloody cheek!

Now to my victims. Drawn across three continents, the roll of dishonour is (in no particular order):

I know there are 16 blogs listed but, like a typical Libran, I couldn’t make up my mind and they’re all a good read. Anyway, I’ve been breaking the rules since dropping out of the womb singing I am what I am.

You might also like:

Say What You See

Dear Old Blighty

17 thoughts on “Jack, the Versatile Blogger

  1. Okay, Jack, you’ve made me smile the first real smile I’ve smiled all week!

    And I totally admit I was all scanning down the list for my name before I read the whole post.

    Thanks for thinking of me, and for totally making my day! Week! October!

    xx Stranger


  2. Congratulations Jack…well deserved. And thank you so much for passing the award on to me…I’m honoured.

    I just love your quirky list..it’s hard to follow that but I’ll give it a try!


  3. OK JD Ill take up the baton but first I want to see a photo of you in those luminous green loon pants 🙂 Thanks for thinking of me and making me laugh this morning as I am a bit of a snotty mess having gone down with some Turkish lergy. Going for a boiling hot shower now to De Ming as there’s more Van stuff to do before I can get back to being versatile! xx


  4. Jack your offerings never fail to make me laugh and this mornings list of your quirkiness was no different. Haven’t been able to get the image of a runaway go kart out of my head all day!! (sick sense of humour)

    Thanks for including me in your ‘award list’ – gave me an excuse not to write about the weather!!

    Helen 🙂 x


  5. As we used to say when I was one of Her Majesty’s Finest, ‘Bugger this for a game of soldiers!’ You waited until my back was turned and then launched this flanking attack – looking at your list there’s no one left to invite.
    Congrats on being ‘badged’ couldn’t have happened to a sneakier sneak!


  6. Big thanks, Jack. Appreciate the mention. Especially liked the camp little clip – it reminded me of hanging out at King’s Cross (the Sydney version).

    Next time, I’ll need to remember to keep the volume turned down on the computer in my open-plan state government office. The sound of La Cage Aux Folles blasting out of its speakers took me a little by surprise.

    The sight of several male co-workers spontaneously twirling down the aisle surprised me even more.


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