All Quiet on the Eastern Front

Grab and Grunt with Dickie

The guns have fallen silent on the eastern front. The constant heated arguments between our neighbours have mercifully abated. Whatever they were rowing about appears to have been resolved, for the time being at least. Lazy days on their side of the proverbial fence have become one long languid banquet. They eat constantly. I appreciate freshly prepared Turkish cuisine is  less calorific and much healthier than most Blighty fare, particularly the convenience variety. Even so, if I shoved that much food into my mouth I’d be as big as the house. Perhaps this is why those pretty, slim young things with impossibly tiny waists and bums like two plump puppies in a sack develop into wide-bodied wrestlers. Not the steroid enhanced Yankee WWF kind. I mean the saturday afternoon grab and grunt kind that I used to watch on ITV’s World of Sport in the 1970s, brought to you by Dickie Davies. I realise this analogy will fly right over the heads of my non-Blighty readers.

10 thoughts on “All Quiet on the Eastern Front

  1. Well observed. At least for you while your neighbours’ jaws are working in tandem on marathon munching it’s giving your ears a break. I suspect they’re flling up ahead of time for next week!


  2. Amazing, isn’t it? These lithesome young things (male and female), that rank amongst the world’s most beautiful, get married and morph into . . . morphs! Bit different from Maidstone where they are lithesome and snarlingly ugly and stay that way!


  3. Having been warned how noisy Spanish neighbours can be – and ALL our neighbours are Spanish! – I have to say that it is surprisingly quiet here. This may be because the apartments are very well built, or it may be because we are usually fast asleep in bed well before our neighbours. The only time we get a lot of noise is when Barça win and then hundreds of fireworks are set off on the wasteground across the road.


  4. What is it with southern people and shouting? When I lived in Malta you’d think the air was made of treacle the way everyone shouted. Often people seemed to be arguing and they were having a simple conversation agreeing on everything. Hand gestures all over the place and outdoing each other’s decibels like they were auditioning for an opera. The fact many did this in English made it more bizarre as understanding them getting so heated about nothing seemed such a waste of energy in that heat. I could barely raise a whisper to ask for my fare on the buses due to the climate whilst they had vocal battles. Love the Med. but give me the peace and quiet of the northern forests any day.


  5. Fortunately we don’t have noisy neighbours (well their cows, sheep,goats, donkeys and chickens are noisy but I don’t mind that). My two immediate neighbours are elderly widows and have few visitors. However when they do the visitors seem to find it necessary to shout rather than speak normally and laugh loudly at every comment. There were some this week, just for a couple of nights and one of them had the most irritating laugh…just like fingernails scraping on a blackboard. Boy was I glad when they left!


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