Ram Raiders

During these days of lean interest rates it pays to shop around. Our money was split between three banks and when one of them offered a better rate we decided to move our cash. The bank that lost out did everything in its power short of outright refusal to scupper our plans. An electronic transfer attracted a ridiculous charge so we were forced to draw the money out in cash. We emerged from the bank like Bonnie and Clyde with two man-bags stuffed with the filthy lucre. We stood by the roadside waiting for our dolly ride clinging onto half our worth like limp-wristed limpits. Every florid passer-by and leather-faced loiterer looked suspicious to our nervous eyes. We made it unmolested to the second bank and slapped the cash onto the counter. I have never been more relieved.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

On the subject of myopic banking practices, why are ATM kiosks often clustered in rows? Do they huddle together for comfort and security? Is it to confuse ram raiders? I’m surprised no one has thought of cutting costs by sharing the burden of running expenses, maintenance, cleaning and topping up the dosh. Of course this would mean the banks talking to each other and dropping the fees for using the wrong machines. Now that would be something.

4 thoughts on “Ram Raiders

  1. Another Spain-Turkey common denominator.
    When we bought our first house here, we were asked to pay some 30,000€ in cash (for the agent’s fee and the notario, we were told at the time – babies that we were!)
    But we had heard tales of bank employees tipping off outside accomplices upon the placement of an order for a large cash withdrawal so that the money bearers would be mugged almost on exit. So we decided on the bluff.

    Emerging from the bank with so much dosh, I carried a large leather bag slung across my chest stuffed with newspaper.
    John had the 30,000€ stuffed in his underpants.
    Take that if you will, varlot!

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  2. I was in the bank last week when a man (and his pal) was awaiting the arrival of a secure bag of dosh to be delivered of which he obviously had ordered to be withdrawn. Two armed guards plus the bank security guy handed over the stash to the cashier to check. I found it quite amusing as I was the only other person in the bank. The S guards took on a Maverick stance – hands hovering over their hand weapons. The customer was standing with his holdall and was shaking so much I wasn’t sure if he was nervous or was suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Either way, I personally have never seen in my lifetime so much cash resembling “house bricks” . After the dosh was safely stashed in the “Camel” holdall the security guys escorted the man and his pal to a waiting car. Now that’s what I call service!

    As an aside here’s a tip to pass on – If you are ever in a hurry and need cash from an ATM machine ALWAYS avoid the ones that are occupied by a Turkish man unless you have an hour to spare!

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  3. Back in my student days, I worked weekends at a well known high street cinema cica 1990 ish. The manager used to put all the takings in one of those wheeled shopping trolleys bags things and tootle off to the bank with all the takings!

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