Category: Weather

Ring of Fire

We awoke to the news that Mother Nature has viciously smacked Japan with the most powerful earthquake in recent history unleashing a titanic tsunami that is powering across the entire Asia-Pacific region at the speed of a passenger jet. My grumble about a bit of chilly weather in our corner of the world now seems pathetic. I have it to hand to the ingenious Japanese who have minimised damage and casualties with clever application of technology. Other nations in the region may not be so fortunate.

The entire Pacific Ocean is framed by faults and volcanoes that geologists call the ‘ring of fire’. Since we foolishly live on top of the extremely active Anatolian Tectonic Plate it’s only a matter of time before we experience the earth moving beneath our feet and our jerry built dwelling may well collapse like a house of cards. Liam served up a spicy curry last evening with egg fried rice and home made onion bhajis. It was delicious but I’m now dealing with a ring of fire of my own.

Brass Monkeys

Just as it seemed spring was around the corner lulling us into a false sense of hope, Mother Nature decides to take a cruel side swipe with a cold snap just for a laugh. Two degrees overnight and a light dusting of snow on the Bodrum Peninsula. I didn’t move to sunny Turkey for this. I confess it’s not as chilly as the image suggests but, without central heating, it feels cold enough to freeze the balls off the proverbial brass monkey. Liam and I are fighting over the duvet to ensure our nether regions remain intact and in proper working order.

I found a tiny mouse that had taken refuge from the elements in the watering can we keep on the terrace. Alas, the creature had perished. We called him Mehmet and flushed him down the loo. Liam said a few words before he pulled the chain.

Bursting into Life

The mould season is drying out. Spring is in the air and there is a spring in our step. The warming rays have stirred us from the benign boredom of our winter hibernation. Flowers are bursting into life, shorts are being aired and flip-flops dusted down. Alas, the mozzie season approaches alongside. Relentless and voracious, Turkish mozzies just love to feast on poor Liam. Dive bombing like kamikaze pilots they show him no mercy. At times he resembles a medieval pox victim. We’ve purchased several kegs of napalm and rinsed out the net as a precaution. Thank God that there is no malaria in our corner of the World.

Grey Britain?

Peering out of the damp windows provides a timely and salutary reminder of one of the reasons we left Britain. The sea and sky are united in an unbroken dirty greyness disguising the horizon and cloaking the Greek islands in the far distance. We are confined by the persistent drizzle. There are many things I miss about London but the weather isn’t one of them though I was surprised to stumble across Interesting European Weather Facts that suggests that my home town has one of the most benign climates of the major European cities. It must be true. I read it on internet. Whatever the facts I’m glad of our regular city fix that enables us to have the best of both. Despite our warm and forgiving hosts, London is a place where we can genuinely breathe free. I can’t see us becoming diehard Blighty bashers unlike so many of our compatriots.

Everyone has a tale to tell and tell it they do. Many of the stories are depressingly similar – running away from something or someone and seeking renewal. It’s hard to fathom why poor old Blighty is so often blamed for their plight. Do people really think a faraway land offers a sure fire panacea for the demons who lie within? Liam and I have chosen to embrace our new life, not as a rejection of what had gone before, but as validation of our future. We are under no illusion that we can simply deposit our unwanted pasts at left luggage.

Knots Landing

Michael Fish's Blooper

I was diverted from my solitude by gale force winds. The magnificent bougainvillea that graces the front of the house, still bald from the last meteorological onslaught, lashed about like a cat o’ nine tails. The winter-weary palm finally surrendered to the elements and laden terracotta pots slow-danced across the terrace like cheap plastic fakes. Apparently, the wind gusted to 55 knots. I may be slightly familiar with knots vis-a-vis bondage but have no clue what this means maritime-wise. Since I was nearly blown off the patio trying to have a fag, I can claim with some confidence that 55 knots is very windy indeed.

It reminded me of the great storm of 1987, the worst since 1703, that hit southern England on the early morning of my birthday. It was the vicious tempest that killed 18 people, felled half the trees in the Home Counties and transformed Sevenoaks into Oneoak. I lived in Windsor at the time. I lay in my bed listening to the sound of Welsh slates sliding off my roof and smashing onto my neighbour’s BMW. Serves him right for parking outside my house.

Yalikavak Skies

We relax at home to revel in our continued good fortune with G&Ts, ice and a slice on the terrace. We sit in silent awe as the sun descends into the sea releasing a final flourish of soft red, peach and orange light into the evening sky. Spectacular but short lived, the riot of delicate hues is displaced by the chilled black night studded with a thousand stars. Now you don’t get that in Walthamstow.

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Thank you to Clive, Greg and Sam for some of the images.

Sodden Bodrum

We were spited by a vengeful Old Testament deluge punctured by a spectacular light and sound show that lit up the sopping sky and cut the power. Prodigious pulses of horizontal rain assailed every crack and cranny, through every easterly window frame and beneath every threshold. Towels were requisitioned and old cushions commandeered to ebb the relentless biblical flow. The bucketing, biting blast blew over, a catastrophe was averted and we retired two by two.

The Great Flood

Tariq the Toothless, called at the house clutching a Red Crescent parcel from Jacqueline and hunky hubby, Angus. Jacqueline and I met at an interview in 1990. I was doing the interviewing and she got the job. She is a wonderfully undemanding friend who I may only see once a year. When we meet we simply carry on where we left off, mixing lascivious gossip with incisive social and political comment (or so we think).

Jacqueline’s package contained an assortment of magazines – cutting edge political commentary and Heat. The timing was impeccable. We are in dire need of extra kindling as we vainly attempt to keep warm during the wettest winter Asia Minor had seen since the Great Flood. I fear if the deluge continues our house may slowly slide down the hillside.

Rain, Rain Go Away…

Asia Minor is blessed with a soaring landscape wrought by tectonic movements over countless millennia that has created a jagged terrain of outstanding natural beauty. However, there is a definite downside to living half way up a mini mountain, even if this does afford an incomparable sea view. No-one warned us that the virtually vertical crumbling concrete access road leading to our house is impassable by car in the rain and treacherous by foot. During the cold weather monsoons, water teems down Mount Tepe transforming the drive into a fast moving stream swollen by dribbling tributaries from all corners of the site. Water continues to trickle for days. Not much fun when hauling up the monthly shop.

Emigrey Spongers

Maurice invited us to his gaff for festive drinks on Christmas Eve. I was delighted to discover that Bernard from Majorca was in town. Bernard is the El Presidente of the ‘First Wives Club’, the fellowship of the ring of exes with whom Maurice has remained friends. Liam thinks the whole concept of staying on good terms with old flames is unnatural. I have membership card number five. It’s fair to say that Maurice has a distinct type, since we are all stout short arses. His current squeeze is no exception. We are the six gobby dwarves to his stocky Snow White.

Meeting up with Bernard again reminded me of my encounter with the Spanish chapter of the guild of emigreys many years ago. Bernard runs a bar in Mallorca and Maurice and I visited him one wet, windswept winter. We were invited to Sunday lunch with an east country couple called Doreen and Jim from Norwich.  Jim was doing hard labour retiling Bernard’s bar floor for which he was being handsomely paid. I asked what brought them to Spain. “Too many foreigners coming into the country and sponging off the social” came the depressingly familiar reply. I nearly fell of my chair when Jim boasted, without the slightest hint of irony, that he was claiming incapacity benefit.