Mommie Dearest

The day after we moved into our ancient gaff, a nice man called Richard  from Virgin Media (not the Richard, obviously) installed our all singing, all dancing multimedia techno-wizardry – 30 megabyte fibre-optic broadband, telephone line and high definition TV. The whole compendium was half price for six months and came with free installation, free equipment and free weekend calls. We now have more channels of crap than you can shake a stick at. Currently, I’m being forced to watch wall-to-wall Olympics (Liam’s current obsession). We’ve never had HD TV before. I can see every wrinkle, every blemish, every spot and every blackhead on the faces of the famous – except for Gary Lineker (who surely must have had a nick and lift). No wonder an old bundle of ageing TV presenters decided to hang up their auto-cues and throw in the flannel: there are some things even the thickest slap can’t hide. Now we have free weekend calls, they’ll be no more Sunday Skype calls to mother. Just as well. I could never get the bloody thing to work properly from Turkey anyway and the compulsory weekly check-in was always a painful exercise, invariably ending in complete frustration.

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7 thoughts on “Mommie Dearest

  1. I share Liam’s obsession and am about to blog about it! Sounds like you are both totally wired up now. Yes, we have HDTV and it reveals things that might have been hidden in a blur in the old technology. I know the Skype ritual – I do it with my son, but it’s actually improving. It’s pretty tedious watching one’s offspring on one’s computer screen, mouth wide open and frozen as he makes an important point which I have missed…


  2. delighted for you, dear chap! Living up the track I’m obsessed with technology and bandwidth (or the lack of it) – at home we sometimes get excited if we get up to 23kbs; just 1 km down the track I can pick up 300+mbs. I either have to move to Norfolk or do a bit of mountaintop removal! And stop looking smug 😦


  3. I’ll fess up here and now we don’t have a TV and at the moment we don’t have fibre optic – it’s the latter I’m pissed off about most of all. Gimme a fast connection that doesn’t ssssslllloooooooowwwww down any day over having to watch Gary Lineker 🙂


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