Regular readers will know that I’ve been under the doctor because of something called PAD (Peripheral Arterial Disease). It’s caused by the thin veins I inherited from my father and a wayward lifestyle of sex, drugs and sausage rolls. The condition affects my mobility and is quite common in old farts of my age, apparently. Following the double stent to unblock my dodgy groin, my consultant (and Dr Green from ER lookelikee) decided that exercise was the best way of evading the surgeon’s knife. This was uncharted waters for me. Apart from a healthy amount of rumpy-bumpy, I’ve always taken the path of least resistance in the physical therapy stakes – buses, tubes, taxis, piggy-backs. I’m a hop on, hop off kind of guy. Ask Liam. He knows. I always figured that if God had wanted me to walk further than the pub, She would have given me more than a 27 inch inside leg. Still, to avoid going the way of my dear old Dad (who didn’t make it past 50), I took the quack’s advice and joined a city-centre gym (no sniggering at the back). It’s a low-cost 24/7 DIY affair, fit for the age of austerity. Stripped-down and ultra-modern without a fluffy robe or juice bar in sight, there are just rows and rows of hi-tech instruments of torture and wall-to-wall mirrors for watching the inquisition. Thankfully, I’m not too intimidated by half-my-age beefed up muscle marys on steroids. While they’re pumping iron on the top floor, I’m fast-walking with the girls downstairs. Life’s a catwalk and I’m back on the treadmill.
Perking the Pansies 
Well done JD!! Have you gone down the lycra short or full tracksuit path?
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Baggy sweatpants for me. I don’t want to frighten the horses 😉
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Lycra?
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Absolutely not. I wobble in all the wrong places 🙂
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Love the idea of you in lycra pumping your funky stuff. And I was wondering where on earth did the phrase “under the doctor” come from?
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No idea but it sounds delicious, doesn’t it?
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. . a low-cost gym? What’s wrong with the streets and parks/ Oh, yeah! In your state you’d probably get arrested for kerb-crawling or loitering with intent! Keep on truckin’ Jack, there’s a post in the old dog yet!!
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You’re closer to the truth than you think. I keep stopping outside the same buildings. I’m sure people think I’m casing the joint 🙂
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Jack, good luck with your exercise regime. Oscar Wilde only had to do it for 2 years in a nice state-owned “gym” in Reading. And he got a poem out of the experience.
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I won’t be writing anything down as I take my route march to nowhere but then, I’m no Oscar.
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Exercise. It comes to visit sooner or later. Why don’t they have a pill for that. If it wasn’t for sweat and getting hot, I might try it more often. Good luck, Jack. Listen to the Doctor.
😉
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I’m sure you glow rather than sweat :-D. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (whoever said that should be shot).
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I agree.
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Took me two takes to read your post because I was laughing so hard at “rumpy bumpy.” 😀
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🙂
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