I’d like to extend a big hand to Sally, my little Manx kitten whose voracious consumption of Perking the Pansies has single-handedly rocketed my hits into orbit. Thank you!

Other readers with certain minority interests may have been more disappointed, particularly those searching for:

• Bingo wings birds
• Old scrubbers
• Gumbet love rats
• Gobbler travels (porn)
• Find a madam
• Istanbul gay sauna
• Izmir gay rent boy
• Can pansies survive in the house temporarily?
• Porno pansies
• Gay gay calis
• Lesbian politics of Britain 2011
• Bodrum rent boys
• Middle class rent boy

There’s a worrying trend developing here. For the record, Liam and I know absolutely nothing about rent boys, though I was tempted (but only tempted) to be one when I was young and wanted. These days I can’t give it away and Liam only obliges me out of duty.