Following our sojourn to Sodom, curvaceous Charlotte and dapper Alan invited us to their gaff for a late light bite. They have a luxuriant but unpretentious home overlooking Yalıkavak. Domestic goddess Charlotte served up a splendid spread of full fat tastiness. My arteries hardened with every morsel. There we met the congenial Greg and Sam, a couple of muscle marys from Turgutreis who retreated from east London three years ago, forsaking unfulfilling careers and studded thongs for peace and tranquillity. Impressively, they have been together for over twenty years contradicting the widely held belief that gay men are genetically incapable of sustaining a relationship beyond the first date. They used to be anatomically huge but have since somewhat deflated by exchanging pumping iron for jam making. However, they still have the biggest pecs on the peninsula. We share the same vocabulary of Delia, daisies and dick. They are to be our new best gay friends.