I’ve held £300 in Premium Bonds for decades. I’ve had them so long, they’re probably worth half what I paid for them. It’s sod’s law: my numbers never come up. Then there’s the Lotto. I’ve never won so much as a tenner. To make matters worse, I’ve bought so many losing scratch cards over the years that I’m personally responsible for the felling of a small copse. Still, I’m happy to do my Good Samaritan bit for lost causes. It’s my civic duty. The Victorians endowed schools for paupers, I gamble. It’s the modern way. My one consolation is that I may have been unlucky in Lotto but I’ve been lucky in love.
Ever since we moved back to Blighty, I’ve entered every bleedin’ competition going, composing slogans to promote low-fat baked beans for the weight-watching generation who can’t be arsed to exercise, OMO whiteness for working scrubbers, breakfast bars for coffee-on-the-go bores and energy-saving vibrators for tight-fisted lonely hearts – whatever it takes to stave off a stint in the work house. One thing’s for sure. There’s no point selling my tired old carcass in the personals column of the local rag. These days, I can’t give it away.
OMG, Jack – for a brief minute I thought I had written your ‘today’s’ blurb! Just so you know, I empathize!…..but we’ll just have to keep it up (going, I mean)!
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I know what you mean! 🙂
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Gotta keep on truckin’, as they say. Can’t sit still or you’ll turn into a potato (and I’m being kind). I almost turned into one until I got my second wind. 🙂
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I shall learn from your example 🙂
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Oh, don’t do THAT…
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😀
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I can’t give mine away either but I did let someone borrow it once. Look what they did with it – it came back a wreck. Not even a wreck that Jacques Cousteau would want to dive on. Pollyanna’s dead I tell you.
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‘Tis but a sad fact of life. Best wear widow’s weaves from now on.
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I feel your pain, Jack … (this however does not prevent me from chuckling at it. Sorry!) 😀
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😀
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You guys are hysterical! now cut it out – I have work to do
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Me too but what a drag 😉
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. . you sad old sod – you need GAnon – I’ll send the address under plain brown wrapping!
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I’ve heard of G Spot (though damned if I can’t find it) but GAnon escapes me.
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What’s Alan talking about? Am I missing something. It’s all this Greek sun.
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All Greek to me too 😉
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