My fifties are my contented years. Happy in life and at home, my banner waving days are behind me and I’m resigned to the advent of liver spots and erectile dysfunction disguised by the haze of creeping alcohol dependence. Apparently, there is a growing national problem with over-drinking by older people, or so say the health police. I’d say that’s the least of our worries. The real issue is the shrinking band of underpaid carers struggling to cope with a growing grey herd put out to pasture. Now, that’s something to leave a nasty taste in the mouth. I might just have to drink through the whole crisis.
One of the least attractive aspects of growing old is daily moulting – and not just from the head. To be frank, I’ve always kept my borders well manicured but hardly a day goes by without the bathroom being overwhelmed by tumbleweeds of short and curlies drifting around the floor. So, I’ve invested in a nifty little hand-held vacuum cleaner to suck up the hairy debris. It makes short work of the problem though I do have to get down on my knees to do the job. Let’s face it. One day I won’t be able to get back up again.
In the meantime, make mine a large one.
Perking the Pansies 
Not sure what to say on this one – thank goodness for alcohol and vacuum cleaners. 😉
Julia
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Hiccup! 😉
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I well remember the day I squared down to get something and could not stand back,up again! I have even done some exercises to try to remedy this, to no avail. I guess at some age that ability just disappears unless one is in quite good shape. Keep the vac handy – and invest in a grab bar!
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Now that is a good idea 😀
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The way the Guv’erment is so eagerly and actively ignoring the increasing numbers of wrinklies dragging themselves about seriously, seriously makes me wonder if they aren’t party to some information re a(nother) catastrophic meteor strike in t’near future. 😉
p.s., I still haven’t recovered fully from the day I noticed that my chest hair had skipped grey and gone straight to white. Costs me a fortune in auburn dye to touch up the roots.
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Just for men?
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. . such a profound posting – had me wondering about the meaning of life!
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I found it at the bottom of a glass 😀
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Why don’t you just use the vacuum on yourself and then you wont have to bend down. I’m sure A&E is full of folk trying this.
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That’s a brilliant idea! Could be fun too…
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The act of getting up and down is the exact exercise needed for being able to get off the floor. BTW you write about the darndest things.
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😀
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I hear you about the effects of aging–everything falls down and out, literally. 😉
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