It’s six months since Liam went under the knife to have Terry the Tumour extracted. Troublesome Terry was a lump beneath Liam’s ear and it just kept getting bigger. The doc reckoned it was benign but might turn nasty if left undisturbed. I was getting quite attached to Terry but, just like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby, Liam screamed, “get it out of me!” So out it had to come. I was hoping Terry would come home in a jam jar for a decent burial but off he went for an autopsy, never to be seen again. Still, the nice Italian neck surgeon was ‘very reassured’ by the result (that’s quack-speak for ‘we got it all out, Grazie a Dio!’).
It’s eighteen months since the arterial bypass to re-acquaint my left leg with a pulse. That worked a treat too though I won’t be tripping the light fantastic on ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ any time soon. For a cheeky parlour game on a damp night, we compare gashes. Remarkably, what once looked like Liam had been garrotted is now just a neat mark along his jaw line. And he’s rather pleased with the unexpected partial facelift. As for me, I was slashed open from moobs to pubes like John Hurt in ‘Alien’ so I naturally assumed my beach bum days were behind me. But no. These days, all the boys would see is a thin, slightly discoloured line mostly hidden by tummy fuzz. Now, where did I put those Speedos?
This sort of thing is precisely why I keep several spare bodies in the freezer. You just never know when you might need a part or two. I too have a beach-ready body. Whenever I show it off a crowd tends to gather. For some reason they keep pouring buckets of water over me and use levers and tractors to get me into the sea. No idea why.
I’m sure the three of us would make quite a pod, drawing sympathetic crowds from as far away as the near continent. 😉
Wear your scars proudly! (And I thought the rough-and-gruff look was in for men these days. Scars just add to the overall effect. 🙂 )
Liam rather likes his scar. Makes him look hard 😀
Boys boys boys happy to hear you’re on the mend.
All mended nicely, until the next calamity, that is 😀
21st Century duelling scars – very chic!
Yes, we’ve made a feature of them. Very Prussian! 😀
Was that the same neck lump that was seen to by the doctor in Bodrum? Did it come back?
No, that was a growth on his head and has never returned. This one was much bigger and uglier! 🙁
I’ve got a few scars though nothing (yet) quite as dramatic. Perhaps I’ll catch up one day. But I don’t want to rush it.
I’ll keep everything crossed. The service we received was excellent but…