Norfolk has its very own community television station called Mustard TV. Why Mustard? It’s a nod to Coleman’s mustard, the city’s famous hot and spicy condiment. The station is run on a wing and a prayer, and presented by those at the very start of their broadcasting careers and others at the very end. With Liam on family duties in London and me with thumbs a-twiddling, I channel-hopped onto Mustard and stumbled on ‘East Angrier’, a vox pop show for local yokels to vent their spleens. Here we go, I thought, another rant by the ignorati spitting out their fake views. But, no, I was pleasantly amused. No bigoted salvos about Johnny foreigners, Islam or Brexit. A few fine citizens had a go at Trump (that works for me) and annoying self-service tills in supermarkets (that works for me too). One Norfolk broad whinged about the number of spam emails she gets (tell me about it) and a grumpy old git reflected on the appearance of his fellow Angles…
Blokes over 30 wearing skinny jeans with the knees cut out look like bleep, bleep.
And…
Bald blokes with ponytails. What the bleep is that all about?
Clearly a man after my own heart.
And then there was the scruffy student fretting he hadn’t finished his essay on David Hockney. He was standing astride the line of blue and green glass tiles which flows down Westlegate marking the course of one of Norwich’s lost rivers – the Great Cockey. This is not to be confused with the Little Cockey which isn’t worth parting your legs for.
Perking the Pansies 
According to my history (and I quote) ‘The Great Cockey rises somewhere around ‘Jack’s Pit’ on All Saint’s Green’. Thought you lived in a garret somewhere else but just goes to show that you never know who is sniffing around!
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It’s my old cruising ground and I’ve got a pink plaque to prove it 😉
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Ha ha that’s a spot of hilarious history there Alan!
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you can trust me, I’m a doctor!
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Hey Jack! Just to say I’ve been following Perking the Pansies for some time now and its bloody brilliant! So well written and funny too. My connection with Norfolk goes way back from family hols and I lived in Norwich for a few years – loved it. Stateside now in a Trump apocalypse. Ah well. Cheers!
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Hi Sophie. Thank you! So the land of the free trumped the mother country? I travelled across the pond in my twenties and planned to stay. I didn’t but sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had. I wrote a little piece about it years back https://perkingthepansies.com/2011/05/03/yankee-pranks/
Love the T-shirts, by the way!
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Haha – ‘ I was young and handsome with cheekbones that could slice cheese’.Great stuff! Glad you like the trees … Springtime in Norwich, have fun!
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Sounds like all is well in the land of the free (speech).
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Yes, indeed. I’m watching Erdogan on the BBC News right now. A very sad day for Turkey.
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I vote for Mexico! Great place to hide out. Nothing to complain about, dang!
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