It’s six months since Liam went under the knife to have Terry the Tumour extracted. Troublesome Terry was a lump beneath Liam’s ear and it just kept getting bigger. The doc reckoned it was benign but might turn nasty if left undisturbed. I was getting quite attached to Terry but, just like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby, Liam screamed, “get it out of me!” So out it had to come. I was hoping Terry would come home in a jam jar for a decent burial but off he went for an autopsy, never to be seen again. Still, the nice Italian neck surgeon was ‘very reassured’ by the result (that’s quack-speak for ‘we got it all out, Grazie a Dio!’).
It’s eighteen months since the arterial bypass to re-acquaint my left leg with a pulse. That worked a treat too though I won’t be tripping the light fantastic on ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ any time soon. For a cheeky parlour game on a damp night, we compare gashes. Remarkably, what once looked like Liam had been garrotted is now just a neat mark along his jaw line. And he’s rather pleased with the unexpected partial facelift. As for me, I was slashed open from moobs to pubes like John Hurt in ‘Alien’ so I naturally assumed my beach bum days were behind me. But no. These days, all the boys would see is a thin, slightly discoloured line mostly hidden by tummy fuzz. Now, where did I put those Speedos?
This sort of thing is precisely why I keep several spare bodies in the freezer. You just never know when you might need a part or two. I too have a beach-ready body. Whenever I show it off a crowd tends to gather. For some reason they keep pouring buckets of water over me and use levers and tractors to get me into the sea. No idea why.
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I’m sure the three of us would make quite a pod, drawing sympathetic crowds from as far away as the near continent. 😉
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Wear your scars proudly! (And I thought the rough-and-gruff look was in for men these days. Scars just add to the overall effect. 🙂 )
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Liam rather likes his scar. Makes him look hard 😀
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Boys boys boys happy to hear you’re on the mend.
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All mended nicely, until the next calamity, that is 😀
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21st Century duelling scars – very chic!
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Yes, we’ve made a feature of them. Very Prussian! 😀
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Was that the same neck lump that was seen to by the doctor in Bodrum? Did it come back?
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No, that was a growth on his head and has never returned. This one was much bigger and uglier! 😦
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I’ve got a few scars though nothing (yet) quite as dramatic. Perhaps I’ll catch up one day. But I don’t want to rush it.
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I’ll keep everything crossed. The service we received was excellent but…
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